To the Mother Who Said She Hates 'Childless Women' in a Viral Rant

Have you ever stopped to think that some of us choose not to have children and some cannot have children due to serious health issues, like myself? I’d give anything for my husband and I to have a child so we could do things together as a family. But due to serious health issues, including a stroke I had 15 years ago, I was told I’d be an extremely high-risk pregnancy. It was strongly advised by my hematologist to avoid having a child because of my clotting risks and being on a blood thinner.

I cried after being given the news because I knew I’d never get to know the joy of motherhood. There are others like myself who can’t have children due to health problems of their own. You are lucky to have never experienced being told you have to avoid having children. You are lucky if you’ve never experienced dealing with serious health problems such as a stroke, cancer, Crohn’s disease, diabetes, deep vein thrombosis, arthritis, chronic pain, heart disease, kidney failure, etc.

People like myself have learned patience over the years. We are patient when it comes to waiting to see our physicians, and we are patient when we have to wait to have a CT, MRI or PET scan because we’re experiencing new symptoms that our doctors want to find an answer to. We are patient waiting to see a specialist to get the test results which could determine if we’re in remission or not, and we are patient in general, because we realize complaining or throwing a tantrum won’t get us anywhere.

If you had taken the time to think before judging those like us with your rude remarks, it might have dawned on you that not every woman is like you. There are times when we have planned an outing with our spouse or friends, but end up canceling because we feel lousy. There are times we’ve attempted to work, but the pain was so bad we have to go to the hospital. For those who are able to have children, there’d be times when we’d have to miss Susie’s recital because we’re recovering from surgery or because we’re hooked up to an antibiotic IV. These are things you haven’t thought of because you let your impatience get the best of you.

So the next time you feel like making a scene, think about this. Women like myself have accepted our circumstances for what they are, healthy or not. We want to have fun (and maybe even go to Disney World!) even though we don’t have children. In fact, we tend to have more patience than most because we find it to be a virtue. Can the same be said about you?