After 106 days in a residential trauma center, I’ve been out for about a month now. I’ve been living in a mental health/sober living transitional house, while doing IOP.
It’s been a hard transition, but I’m getting used to this. I’m starting to accept that that part of my life is over and I need to look forward.
It was really hard going from a place where I was surrounded by so much love and support 24/7. It had been the first time I had ever felt safe. I was so worried I’d never feel safe like that again.
My anorexia started to come back full-swing. The staff in IOP (the same staff from residential, minus the techs) were super supportive and helped me a lot.
I’m trying to focus on the times I feel good. I’m remembering the bad doesn’t ever last. It’s okay and normal to still feel bad sometimes. I’m learning to accept my feelings, remind myself they won’t last, and remember when I’ve felt good and realize I will feel that again.
I’m focusing on doing the next right thing. I don’t need to have the rest of my life planned out. I don’t have to worry if I’ll ever be okay or when the next bad time comes. I just need to do the next right thing.
I don’t want to eat, but I do, because that’s the next right thing to stay in recovery.
I want to isolate, but I don’t, because it’s the next right thing.
I am working on being more present. Sitting in each moment, accepting it for what it is- even when it doesn’t feel the best.
I am beginning to think that I might actually be okay.
#NextRightThing #Recovery #ResidentialTreatment #IOP #Anorexia #AnorexiaNervosa #MentalHealth #MentalIllness