Loneliness

I’m just wondering 🤔 if I’ll ever find love again? Especially when you have the mental illness that I mentioned above! I truly miss being in a committed relationship and being married. I’m just worthless I guess and that’s why I want to go ahead and go to heaven now to avoid the pain and loneliness I feel right now. I honestly wish suicide was not a sin in the eyes of the Lord because if it wasn’t then I could go to heaven now and end the pain and suffering and loneliness I feel inside. I am a very loving and affectionate caring man and I love someone with all my heart and soul and I love the Lord even more I wish he would send me someone 😭😭😭😭😭

I could have a bitter heart but I prefer to be kind and forgiving. I've dealt with the worst of human nature but I rise above it. I have helped those who betray me later, been scammed by cruel strangers, been abandoned by best friends, lashed out on, and dropped when I was going through the worst of traumas. I will keep on "kinding" on, I will open doors for strangers, treat people with gentleness, smile at passerbys, have deep conversations with perfect strangers and ask them questions about their life, help where I can, and grow spiritually. I feel and acknowledge my anger and sadness, but I try to put it aside and seek joy and love instead. I've had to confront and let go of some friendships recently so it has been really hard, but I didn't want people to be friends with me out of their loneliness.... tolerating me and being annoyed with who I am. This is the part I'm still trying to sort out..... #Loneliness #Depression #MentalHealth

I am a kind caring person, but the people who always gravitate to me are not nice and they are grumpy. Or people just run away from me, or avoid me. I have only one virtual friend I keep in touch with but he is 1000s of miles away. All of my local friends are either ones that disappeared on their own, or were mean grumpy people I had to push away because they were cold and not very caring like I am. They would say things like I'm annoying, I talk too much, and they lash out on me. I have learned to stick up for myself and I said that I will not tolerate being yelled at. So since I've been doing that, I have no more local friends. Friendship is extremely hard, I just want one kind, caring, patient, and loyal friend like me. They don't have to be perfect, but just loving. Its all I wanted in someone, someone I can vent to and they can vent to me, but we can share some laughs. #Anxiety #Depression #Loneliness

Not only am I struggling to find people that want to be friends with me, but now it’s taking a shift from neutral to negative, meaning that I’m now being inexplicably made fun of in a number of classes by significant quantities of people. Even if they aren’t actively taking part, there are people that still laugh. And evidently, no one is planning to step in and stop this. The problem is that it isn’t really to a point of being horrific in any single class yet, it’s just that collectively it’s a lot. I’ve found thoughts of ending my life occassionally returning (though not serious ones as of now), and I don’t know what to do anymore.

(Sorry if that was kind of wordy, my linguistics have not suffered from this like they sometimes do)

Not only am I struggling to find people that want to be friends with me, but now it’s taking a shift from neutral to negative, meaning that I’m now being inexplicably made fun of in a number of classes by significant quantities of people. Even if they aren’t actively taking part, there are people that still laugh. And evidently, no one is planning to step in and stop this. The problem is that it isn’t really to a point of being horrific in any single class yet, it’s just that collectively it’s a lot. I’ve found thoughts of ending my life occassionally returning (though not serious ones as of now), and I don’t know what to do anymore.

(Sorry if that was kind of wordy, my linguistics have not suffered from this like they sometimes do)

I face #Loneliness and #Isolation as a person with a questionable immune system because of my #Cll (Chronic Lymphocytic Lymphoma) and because of the scapegoating and blame I receive from my two adult children who can't seem to be bothered to understand the #ComplexPTSD (#CPTSD ) I suffer as a result of horrible childhood trauma. I consider myself fortunate to have known two people who, unfortunately, suffer from Myasthenia Gravis. My loneliness and isolation both cause Complex PTSD triggering and are caused by it. When I find someone for whom I have some affection, I can become overly reliant on them for the connection I so desperately need. I experience(d) affection for both of these people, one deeply so and currently. Knowing that stress can trigger an MG Crisis, and that she is sometimes laid low for days and days by her treatments, I have had to learn to manage my triggers, which I'm not doing so well with right now. I'm doing better at keeping them to myself instead of aiming my desperation at her. Because of my affection for her, she is my teacher. In past relationships, which this currently is not, although the affection is mutual, I let my "CPTSD flag fly," and ended up inadvertently hurting people. I can't do that with her. If I do, no matter the form of her feelings for me, I will stress her out which could have negative impacts on her health. So, I'm hoping people with MG will find this and, by reading your posts, I will learn more about how difficult it is to maintain relationships of any kind when MG is involved. From others who care about someone with MG, I hope to listen and learn from your experience and, together, find ways to be good friends, lovers, partners, whatever. For those who care for people with MG, I hope to learn what I need to know to be helpful. I've done a lot of research into MG. It's exceedingly complex, with such varied and far-reaching implications on one's life. I want to be a good friend to this person I care so deeply for and starting a group here seems like a good way connect with others to keep myself in check. She has needs of her own and I want to be a help, not a hindrance, and in so doing, I will be healing myself of my CPTSD woundedness. Welcome. Introduce yourself. Say what you bring and how you'd like to benefit from being here.