I found an old video of me talking when I was happy. I was talking about going to see a wedding venue. We split up this year. What bothers me is how happy I look, my mannerisms. I feel like complete opposite person.. I don't speak confidently or smile or be confident like that. It's so unbearable to be where I am right now. I feel like I will never be happy and sometimes I wish I could end it all. #Suicide #breakup #Homeless
10 reactions •
4 comments
I haven't experienced a single moment of joy in just over a year (not even a slight exaggeration).
Since my boyfriend and I broke up last May and my best friend of 22 years ended our friendship due to inability to tolerate my emotional breakdown, I haven't been happy, I haven't laughed genuinely, felt clear-headed, inspired, motivated or hopeful in any sense.
I attempted getting back into the dating world only to find myself in an abusive relationship that made me feel much worse (I've luckily been out of that now for 2 weeks).
I've up-ed my anti-depressant dosage from 10mg to 20mg which is still rather low. I'm even considering coming off them in fear they are to blame for my zombie-like state.
At least when I was in said abusive relationship we were going out to do things, restaurants, nature walks, family events, etc. Now all I can manage to do when I get home from work is sit on the couch, and scroll on my phone while the TV plays in the background until I fall asleep. I've gained 5-8 pounds.
I feel traumatized. Not mentioning all I've been through in the past but just within the last year. I feel paralyzed and afraid that I will never a joyful moment ever again. Every once in a while I will force myself to partake in one of my hobbies or visit with a friend. But I dread the commute home each day because I know I'm driving home to a lonely Hell on Earth.
Is it ok to hide from the world for awhile? Is it ok to do nothing until I feel right again?
#MentalHealth #breakup #Heartbroken #PTSD #Trauma #Depression
37 reactions •
5 comments
I can’t describe the kind of loneliness and pain I am currently through. I can’t talk to anyone about what I’m really feeling. I literally have no friends to turn to. I just got out of a 3 year relationship. My first relationship. And as gay guy. It’s been 13 weeks now, and I’m still struggling to cope. We didn’t end things badly. He broke up with me and asked if all the things he mentioned was true or not and I agreed. We both decided it’s better. We still care so much for each other but ae don’t really talk. I stayed with him for those 3 years and now I had to move back to my hometown with my parents. Now my support system (parents) are not that great. They don’t know how to deal with someone going through what I’m feeling. We can’t discuss it. Ever since o was a child also. Nothing. They also don’t fully accept that I’m gay and they think it is a choice. So I just sit with my thoughts. Alone. Going insane. I’ve been praying to God to help me every night. I’m seeing my psychiatrist next week after waiting for these past 12 weeks. Finally. Someone can finally sit and listen to my story. I hope he can help. Because I feel lost. And and also I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety and bipolar since 2016. So it’s total hell for me. #Nofriends #breakup #heartbreak #lonely #lost #Someonesaveme #BipolarDepression #Anxiety #Grief
34 reactions •
12 comments
Recently going through a breakup, somewhat mutual but I brought up the fact that maybe we are going around in circles breaking up and getting back together, I had a bad panic attack/ crying I was stressed/ overwhelmed and they meant well to support me but were comparing me, saying I should be stronger, crying makes me weak etc, English isn’t their first language but they speak it well 🗣️, and I guess I was hurt because I know they meant well but it just made me feel more crappy and stigmatized, they kept going on and on and comparing me to other people etc. I know they loved me and were just concerned, but it sucks i feel regret though I feel in my gut it was problem for the best for both of us. But almost 3 years into a relationship
It’s still hard to let go. I’m proud of myself for doing a lot better than I expected but it’s hard when you get those emotional breakdowns and are just overwhelmed by everything and life in general.
#breakup #recovering #MentalHealth #Hurts #grieving #relationship #Ex
#healthybuttoxictoo #help #kindreminders #helpme #sad #Crying #Upset #Disappointed #regrets #dontknowwhattodo #isolated
21 reactions •
7 comments
Could you share some cute pet photos, memes, quotes or anything that might help a little ? Thanks so much if anyone can, or to keep me in their thoughts.
#DistractMe #Crying #FeelingAlone #Nofriends #stressfulfamily #Trying #hardtimes #regret #breakup #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma
58 reactions •
22 comments
My heart hurts. He left again after swearing he changed. Am I as worthless as he is treating me? I don't know if anyone even cares.
Struggling a bit seems permanent breakup this time with my bf or I guess my ex now. Really sucks so bad I loved them so so much, he did too but I guess we have been getting into the cycle of on and off breakups. This time seems to be final, we are long distance, usually they are somewhat supportive and kind but this time during a bad panic attack he was calling me weak that I need to be strong, crying doesn’t solve anything. There’s people that have less than me and still fake a smile etc, I overreacted too but just sucks. They have really been such a huge part of my life and in a way I have for them too. It’s hard letting go. Please send love and positivity/ prayers my way if you can. Sorry if it’s a silly reason to ask for good vibes my way but just struggling and crying non stop sometimes. Thanks for any help, sucks I try so hard to not be a burden with my anxiety but even then the few times I reach out it’s hard for others who haven’t suffered from it too understand or as an HSP when the world gets too overwhelming and you just break down. #breakup #HSP #sad #Ex
28 reactions •
7 comments
It happened. And I never thought that this day would come and how hurt I will feel… he let me go because I am not independent on my own and couldn’t find a job. I tried SO hard to make it work with my art. But I am a struggling artist. He just Couldn’t take it anymore. He told me he was thinking about ending things with me for months, sleepness nights etc. I’m 28 and This was my first boyfriend and partner. We were together 4 years. I just moved back to my parents as I had nowhere else go. Unpacking mu things halfway through and I started breaking down again. I feel so broken. So useless and lost. I don’t know what to do, what to feel, where to go. I am so scared. I just want to cry and hide from the world. I feel like i am not going to make it. I feel beyond repair. I feel shattered. #breakup #heartbreak #Heartbroken #lost #hurt #useless #scared #Broken #Shattered
The End
My heart is broken, shattered in a million pieces..
Nothing will fix it..nor do I beg anyone to come…
I’d rather feel the pain…I’d rather feel the shame…and let everything in me come undone…
I don’t need forgivness, understanding, or pity… because i all honesty… I don’t need it, I don’t deserve it, and I damn well don’t want any award either…
I loved, and I walked away.. for whatever reasons… there were just as many reasons to stay as go away… so.. there’s that. The lovebird has sung it’s tune… the night owl takes the stage.
As the cold night air creeps into aching bones.. so does the awareness of solitude, fear, questions of unknown fate, peace, but sadness..and hope that we both wake up to the same sun once the night ends, and blessings come that are more than bittersweet.
Latest
