livinginfear

So I feel like I am going crazy and no one else we understand but someone on here might but even if they don’t I know this is a safe place. So I was abused as a child and as a result I have PTSD and one of my biggest fears/triggers is being around children and the fear that they are going to get hurt and the fear that I am exactly like my abuser and one day I might hurt someone! This literally makes me feel physically sick, gives me nightmares, panic attacks and has even lead to ne self harming and sucicidal thoughts because I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt anyone and also I don’t know if I can keep living in fear. I have tried medication, counselling and CBT and they have helped and I’ve been doing really well! But these past couple of weeks my PTSD and fear have come back with a vengeance and I feel trapped again. Was just wondering if anyone else has ever felt like this or am I as crazy and broken as I feel! #PTSD #livinginfear #Broken

My Mom has COPD, congestive heart failure, and diabetes. My adult daughter has seizures daily #PNES (we think) since mid-September.  I have anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and high blood pressure.  I’ve been living in constant fear of what’s going to happen next. I can’t get my butt out of my chair long enough to clean anything or accomplish anything. Every little thing causes me to break out in tears, all while trying to appear happy and ‘normal’ to my 9 year old daughter.  My hubby is super supportive and my faith in God is strong, but it’s beginning to waiver.