"The System is Failing Disabled Kids—and I’m Living Proof"
I’ve spent my whole life in the special education system—from the inside out. I was a special education student from 1st through 6th grade. I'm now a self-identified autistic adult. I'm a mother to two beautiful, officially diagnosed autistic children. And I work inside the school system as a special education paraprofessional.
That means I’ve seen it all. And what I can’t stay silent about anymore is this: the system is failing disabled children—every single day.
Are you shocked? I’m not. I grew up in this. And now, I’m deep in it. I show up every day not just for a paycheck, but because I care about these kids. Because I am these kids. Because I’m raising them. And yet… the abuse, neglect, ignorance, and dehumanization I’ve witnessed is beyond words.
My very first year working in the system, I saw a teacher sit on a 6-year-old during a meltdown. Yes, the child was having a physical meltdown—but instead of offering support, comfort, or a sensory-safe space, the teacher sat on him, smacked him, and cornered him for 45 minutes. I reported it long before the 45 minutes were up. And when I was questioned by police, one officer actually asked me, “Well, what was the kid doing?”
Excuse me? If that had been my child, I would’ve been arrested for reacting. But this teacher, with 30 years of experience, got a slap on the wrist. Nothing changed.
My second year, a new teacher repeatedly made comments like, “These autistic kids don’t belong in school. They should be locked away.” She bullied an autistic child of color—because of her race and disability. I reported it. I went to administration again and again. I was told:
> “Tiff, just handle the behavior. She’s new to the system.”
No. No, I won’t just handle it. I told them if someone doesn’t have respect, love, and empathy for disabled kids, they have no business working with them. I was told I was a “different breed.”
I guess I am.
Because I won’t stand by while students are called “animals.” I won’t let coworkers get away with abusive, neglectful behavior. I’ve stepped in too many times. I’ve watched therapists and administrators come to me for information about students, because I was the only one who really knew them. I went far beyond my job title because the kids deserved someone to fight for them.
But here’s the truth I don’t say out loud enough:
I’m tired.
I’m burned out.
I’ve taken mental health days because I go home disgusted and brokenhearted.
And yet… I stay. Because if I don’t? Who will protect them?
Too many people are being hired to work with disabled children who don’t understand disability—and worse, don’t care to. They brag about working with special needs kids, but they don’t see them as human. They just want a résumé booster, not a relationship.
I’m not writing this for sympathy. I’m writing this because I’ve had enough. This isn’t just one bad teacher, or one bad school. This is happening across the country. And it’s not okay.
We need training. We need accountability. We need trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming professionals in these classrooms. Most of all, we need people who see these children as people—not problems.
If you’re in this system too and you’re exhausted: I see you. If you’re a parent who feels helpless: I hear you. If you’re a disabled person who’s survived this system: I stand with you.
Let’s stop pretending this is okay.