A way to show support when you can’t be there
In 2015, my whole life changed when I met my love. We were blissfully happy for about a year and a half. To the point where our friends would ask us “What’s your secret for being so in love?” Yep, we were THAT couple. Fast forward to now, where there has been a broken engagement, a shit-ton of hurt feelings, resentment, betrayal, and pain. And still so much love. We are not together due in large part to my C-PTSD and unaddressed/unhealed trauma that contributed to me acting in the most rash and incredibly hurtful ways. But, still... the love, we both have said countless times that we’ve never loved or been loved like this before. And we keep finding ourselves back together. And then back apart.
Right now, his mom is in the final, cruel stages of Alzheimer’s. And I have all this emotion, this desire to care for, nurture, and soothe him. But he is not open to communication. So, I knit. I am creating a “Safe Harbor” shawl for his mom who I was lucky enough to meet before the disease began to ravage her mind and body. Her laughter, her joy in her children, her love of the water. So, I knit for her, I knit for him. In the deep turquoise color she loves, I knit my love and compassion, my sadness and my tears, my prayers for peace and grace. May they be heard. 🧶 #knitting #loveletter #CPTSDinrelationships #AlzheimersDisease #Grace