Alzheimer's Disease

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Merry Christmas #AlzheimersDisease #Depression #Anxiety

I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas! Yesterday I was in the depths of depression but today is better. If your struggling, I’m wishing you a reprieve from it today. ❤️🎄

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I'm so torn

My husband and I live in Maine, our parents live 4 hours away in CT. My husband was in an accident long ago which left him with post concussion syndrome. He did 20 years in the Air Force and retired so we live on his retirement and VA benefits. I have been his caregiver although he doesn't always see it that way, struggles with his mental health but doesn't realize he needs help. 3 years ago he had a psychotic episode that lasted months, has mostly recovered but still really needs someone around to keep him on track. After 27 years as a homeschooling stay at home mom, last year I earned my masters in Counseling, found an awesome part time job doing exactly what I had dreamed of doing, and I'm part of an amazing community here. Now my parents...we've noticed over the years that mom was becoming more and more forgetful. This past spring she was diagnosed with alzheimers. She still recognizes people but she cannot be on her own at all, can't do the simplest tasks without direction, although she insists she can and tells everyone she does do everything. My dad takes care of her 24/7. My brother lives there as well but is little help to them and often moreover burden. Mom is becoming very mean, especially to my dad. She calls him a liar, has threatened to hit him, gets angry when he directs her to do something. Dad is getting tired, and I'm learning now that it's always been kind of a challenging relationship. But dad's not going to leave her. They don't have money to go into assisted living, they're still paying on their home as they've had to refinance a couple of times because of stuff my brothers done. I'm afraid this is taking a huge toll on my dad. They had said last week that they were going to have people come in to help and mom could go to a day program. Today dad told me they canceled all that except the meals on wheels. When I asked why, he said "mom's not ready to go to the day program" which I think really means that mom put a kabosh on the whole thing. She may not have a memory but she can definitely still demand her own way and keeps insisting they're perfectly fine. Dad has so many things he'd like to do but can't because of mom. We thought about moving them up here with us, but their support is mostly down there. I don't really want to move down there because I've got my support system here, my husbands doctors are here, I'd have to change my counseling license to CT and wouldn't find this kind of job and i don't want to be sucked into the drama of my husband's family too (they don't believe in mental illness but whew! they should!). We try to visit at least once a month. Am I being selfish not moving down there? Oh and our kids are all here in Maine as is my grandbaby and my oldest son, I'm pretty certain, is on a crash course with his own mental health. I've already pretty much lost the mom I know, I'm so afraid I'm losing my dad too and I've also got so much other stuff going on too. I try to be brave for everybody, be strong, but I just don't know how. And secretly I wish someone would work so hard taking care of me. #Caregiving #AlzheimersDisease #MentalHealth

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Grief and Memory disorders - a loved ones perspective.

Grief is an inescapable thing for someone who loves a DID system. Even though your loved one is still physically present, parts of who they are and the reliability of your shared relationship seem to disappear or change without notice. A segmented memory creates different sets of experiences and therefore sometimes quite dramatically different reactions to similar situations. I found this article particularly helpful when thinking of grief in this context. #DissociativeIdentityDisorder . Those who love someone with #AlzheimersDisease or other memory based issues might also find this comforting. Cut yourselves some slack. This is hard to process.

How the Brain Rewires as We Grieve

How the Brain Rewires as We Grieve

Understanding neuroscience to help manage the pain of loss.
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