My brain won’t stop and rest. #Depression
I’m going through legal channels to try and get better visitation with my kids. I couldn’t get a lawyer who was willing to stand up for what I wanted, and in the mediation I seem to be giving up as much as I’m getting, so I’m not really getting any more time with them. Just that she can’t arbitrarily tell me I can’t see my sons anymore.
My seventeen year old doesn’t want to come around anymore, because at my place he doesn’t have an Xbox in his room and I tell him to put his phone away at the dinner table or when we’re playing a game together. My thirteen year old enjoys coming over because we watch his shows and play games and Beyblade together. Even my twenty one year old enjoys coming over because I listen when he talks about video games, something he says his birth father and his mother don’t do.
I’m being told that since it’s not the kids asking for change, then I don’t really have a leg to stand on. When the divorce happened I had been abused by my ex for so long that I couldn’t stand up for what I thought was best for my sons and I, and now it sounds like I just have to accept that I still have no power in my own life and my chances to try and guide my sons to a hard working and productive life are slim to none.
It’s after 4 in the morning and my brain won’t stop churning, trying to figure how I can get done what I think is right, when it seems like everyone else either doesn’t care or actively tells me I’m in the wrong. #Upallnight #lovemykids #Depression #lonely