Upallnight

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Not good #MentalHealth #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Depression #ADHD #Upallnight

So I did survive my first day at my new job but to be honest I was doing computer based learning but I already got uncomfortable vibes from the store manager and I missed my hearing with the disability judge so that had to be rescheduled and so did my psych doctor she called out sick but like I said I already can tell this job probably won’t work out for me. Because I can sense that I’m not gonna be able to be comfortable in my position there and my disability attorney asked me wether or not if I thought this job was gonna work out for me and I know already this is most likely gonna end up in disaster because I don’t like to be made to feel uncomfortable and it’s gonna make my #Anxiety worse and my #Depression worse and that’s gonna start making me angry and bitter inside then I’m gonna explode 🤯 and lose the job anyway so yay me 😒☹️

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Update

Well I survived my first day on my new job of course I was doing computer based stuff tonight so not to stressful and I’m still nervous about driving that manual transmission car lol 😆 I’m not fond about it either I feel so embarrassed 🙈 it’s been so long but I do understand the concept of the manual transmission operation just gotta get that clutch just right well I just got home and took my meds and headed to bed I love you all so much and thank you for all the kind words and support and prayers # anxiety #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Upallnight #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #ADHD

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Years ago I came across this powerful phrase: Don't let the world make you bitter, be better ✨️

At that point in time I was bitter at how much I had lost. My teenage years were wasted in a hospital post surgeries and I was in a wheelchair and in so much pain, a LOT more than I had ever experienced. I was 15 and after school when my friends got to have fun, I had to go to physical therapy. I did love exercising so that wasn't what I was disenchanted with.
I saw these adults struggling and wincing in pain. They are weak! I thought in anger.

And then I saw this old lady who couldn't walk she hurt so bad she sobbed and they brought out a wheelchair for her since it was too painful. In that moment I saw myself. I had been there too. My mom had said "suck it up Tierra" "sometimes you just got to fake it til you make it"
Those phrases cost me so much. When she finally had bad pain, I told her the exact same thing, suddenly her attitude changed and she was much more charitable when it came to my pain. But that is a story for another day.

After watching that old lady hurt so bad, it hit me how awful I had been -even if it was only in my head. Later that day I came across that quote: Don't let the world make you bitter, be better!
I felt like it changed my DNA it was so perfectly timed! God helping change me for good ❤️

Don't let the world teach you to be cruel, because YOU are better than that. Dare to be optimistic and positive and spreading kindness around!

Have The Audacity To Hope 💕✨️✨️💖

#AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #bedbound #BoneSplints #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #Depression #Disability #DistractMe #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Insomnia #Lupus #Lymphedema #JuvenileRheumatoidArthritis #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Psoriasis #PTSD #plantarfasciitis #PsoriaticArthritis #PanicAttack #PanicAttacks #Psychosis #MentalHealth #MemoryLoss #MightyTogether #Migraine #Grief #Headache #RareDisease #RheumatoidArthritis #SuicidalThoughts #Scoliosis #ShinSplints #sciatica #CheerMeOn #Upallnight #IfYouFeelHopeless #musclespasms

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Pain won't leave me alone

I'm beyond exhausted, I just want a little sleep. It's been who knows how many nights without sleep I doze for a minute and my blanket or clothes or an fn breeze touch my arm and I'm jolted awake with lightning bolts shooting up my arm that's already on fire.

I don't want to live like this. I tell my doctors about it and I get "oh I don't have anything to do with sleep..." Primary doctors around here have a year wait list, August 2023 I called to make a new patient appointment with the only local office accepting new patients and my insurance... The appointment I got is for September 2024. I expressed the issues I am having and nothing. Urgent care/ ERs "that's primary care doctor concerns we can't prescribe anything for sleep and you need to see your pain management about your pain. "

What the F*** is wrong with our healthcare system??!

#Upallnight #CRPS

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All the feels today

Photo was sent to me awhile back, I don't own it. Stayed up late and woke early because of my buddy CRPS.

#Upallnight #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome

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I don't totally agree with this one as I have found joy in other people and happiness in helping others

Though I understand the point that it is good to make that happiness when you know you need it.
When my depression gets dark and deep I make an effort to PLAN fun things so that I look forward to the future again plus having fun things often no matter how small (like a mini art session or reorganizing a small drawer(I LOVE organizing, always have, I find so much peace and reassurance in it) or going to get ice cream or try a bunch of new snacks with the fam(I love that salted caramel Twix ♥️ 💖 😋😋😋))

You know best what your real limits are, plan those things you love to add joy in your life-with and on purpose!

#AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Disability #DistractMe #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Grief #Insomnia #Lupus #Lymphedema #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Psoriasis #PTSD #plantarfasciitis #PanicAttack #PanicAttacks #bedbound #JuvenileRheumatoidArthritis #MentalHealth #MemoryLoss #Migraine #CheerMeOn #RheumatoidArthritis #MightyTogether #RareDisease #SuicidalThoughts #Scoliosis #ShinSplints #Upallnight #musclespasms

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Affirmation cards: a Year of positive thinking. My latest affirmation addition to my collection. I got this off of Amazon.

Card explanation:
In this cardset, you will find 365 affirmations, quotes, and short narratives that provide a full year of positive thinking practices.

Here is the most empowering thing you should know: You can PHYSICALLY CHANGE your brain by consciously changing your thoughts through neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout our lives. By using repetitive mental activities like positive thinking, we can retrain our brains to become more inclined towards positive feelings. And when you change how you think, you change how you act and who you are in the world.

These cards were created so that you can experience the power of positive thinking and positive psychology for yourself, in quick and easy ways. Each card highlights one affirmation, quote, or practice empowered by positivity. The cards are numbered from day 1 to 365 and help you build a positive thinking habit over a complete year.

By reading just one card each day, you can steadily shift your mindset from one that clings to every negative experience, to one that embraces hope, encouragement, bravery, resilience, and possibility. As you move through the cards and your year, may you become more empowered to show up in your life with positivity, grace, and courage in this wild, crazy world.

#AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Disability #DistractMe #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Insomnia #Lupus #Lymphedema #MightyTogether #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #RareDisease #SuicidalThoughts #MentalHealth #MemoryLoss #Migraine #CheerMeOn #JuvenileRheumatoidArthritis #RheumatoidArthritis #Grief #plantarfasciitis #PTSD #Psoriasis #PanicAttacks #PanicAttack #bedbound #Scoliosis #ShinSplints #Upallnight #musclespasms

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