Am I losing myself? - Advice Needed
After leaving my husband of 10 years I finally told myself that I am worthy of love and valuable as a person exactly as I am.
5 years ago I entered a severe depressive episode and it took me 5 years of struggling with crippling anxiety, notes and plans, a psych ward, way to much fucking medication, and emotional abuse and neglect from my husband to somehow pull myself from the wreckage, drop the chains, and walk away.
I am my best self. I love myself. I am happy.
My boyfriend of almost a year is wonderful. I’m very much in love and he’s been great for me in a healing, healthy relationship kind of way. I could love him forever.
He’s moody. Every week (sometimes twice) he will randomly be in a mood. I’m extremely sensitive to mannerisms and vibes. I can tell when his vibe is off.
95% of the time the reason is that he needs more affection or attention. His love language is physical touch.
He won’t simply say what his needs are. Sometimes I don’t think he even knows. He will be “spicy” or sensitive to things that I do or say for example, I didn’t answer a text quick enough, I mention my ex husbands name (we share kids so it’s only kid related), if I sit on the couch and veg out on my phone by myself, if I shut my phone off when he enters a room (he thinks I’m hiding something when I simply want to make him my #1 attention.
He’s driving me fucking nuts. I get defensive and I’m trying so hard to hear him out but some of these things are “eye roll”, who cares/move the fuck on, type of things.
QUESTION: How do I help him figure out his needs and communicate them better?
#moody #ManMoodSwings #relationship
Bonus Question: My boundaries are fuzzy, gray areas because I truly love this shit outta this man. It’s easy to claim, “I’d never put up with xyz in a relationship”, but then let xyz slide here and there. It’s almost like my gut radar is jaded. Any advice would greatly be appreciated. I suffer from severe anxiety and panic attacks.