So yesterday I washed the dishes, did my laundry, put away food in tupperwares, finished everything I had to do work-related too, and I even did my eyebrows and organized my tasks succesfully, but all I could think of is about that one tupperware I could've sworn I washed but in the end I didn't, and I put the food in anyway thinking it was clean. Out of all the damn tupperwares I washed and filled with food succesfully, I couldn't stop thinking about that one that I forgot to wash. That's literally all I could think of right before bed, overthinking about it until I fell asleep.
My therapist told me I do that a lot and he's right: I keep doing things the right way and accomplishing little things day by day but I always bring up the things I'm not doing right. Yesterday I was able to identify that behaviour but I couldn't do anything but think about that one tiny little thing I didn't do. Today, I decided to leave that behind and fucking appreciate the things I accomplished. Sure, doing the dishes, doing my eyebrows, putting away food in the fridge and organizing my daily tasks sound simple: I guess that's what people usually do all the time, but for us struggling with some kind of mental illness, we know it's a big step to take the initiative to do all those things. But even if we do 9 things right out of the 10 things we did, we always overthinkg about that one thing. Anxiety takes over and then you wonder if you're actually making things happen. Today I say we turn the page and start channeling our energy on congratulating ourselves for all those small steps we take to get better, to be better.
We gotta find a way to stop beating ourselves up for "not doing enough" because doing "enough" is relative and very different for each one of us: I bet for someone here right now, waking up and getting out of bed is already a big accomplishment, and that should be celebrated. For someone else, going to work is already a big step forward, and we should be proud of that. If someone close to you, that you know is struggling, shares that they got to wash the dishes and fold their laundry, I bet we would never be like "hey that's nothing, what about that one shirt you didn't fold, and that one tupperware you forgot to wash. What's wrong with you? Finish what you started." Instead, since we are good people and we are empathetic, we would celebrate their milestones and encourage them to keep going and to keep trying. We would be very patient and understanding and would never highlight the things they did wrong because after all, they did their best. So why do we keep treating ourselves that way? Beating ourselves up for the things we still have to work on?
So I'd like to invite you to treat yourself as a friend, exactly as how you'd treat a loved one. If you need to have a conversation with yourself, go on. Talk to yourself nicely, patiently, as how you'd talk to your best friend when they're feeling down. After all, we live inside our head all the time and we've got to make ammends with older versions of ourselves that were just trying their best, and encourage of current version to keep on taking those little steps towards feeling better and doing better. Sure, we can rely on our close ones too, but I can't stress enough how important it is to be able to rely on ourselves too whenever we need some encouragement or even a shoulder to cry on. Of course it's not easy, but we're getting there, and talking to ourselves in a kindly manner is a great start to be our #1 fan. Sounds cringy and a little corny, but we gotta try. If not us, who? and if not now, when?
#CheckInWithMe #CheerMeOn #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #PersonalityDisorders #ADHD