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- I’m not able to distract myself with flashy things or convince myself that my life got fixed. The truth of my mental and emotional state stares me right in the face, and I do wonder what always makes me want to avoid it.

- having more money gives me still a lot of stress. Then I stress about why to spend in on and whether that was right. Or whether saving x amount was right.

- it made me more okay with people not wanting to interact with me if I don’t have what they value.

- it gave me a bit thicker skin towards societies views and opinions

- with my mind being scrambled eggs I’m limited as to all the stupid and immature things I could do

- I’m bugging less people

- it saves me the responsibility time and energy in terms of managing and dealing with other people and authorities

- I feel less burdened by the lack of others since I’m among them. So I feel less responsible for others lack

- it makes me less responsible for transforming the planet into a better place

- it fits the level of competence that I currently have

- I don’t even like to deal with money so it’s nice not to have to deal with it a lot

- I have to fear less whether my investments are justified. Again.

- I love the simplicity and it’s all I can handle right now

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Atleast 3 ways in which cowardice can be a good thing
- it makes me hyper attuned to my surroundings

- potential danger is hard for me to miss, so there’s a potential to actually mentally and emotionally work through any situation that I think might be bad, and as a result become a person who can only act in alignment, and move as a more peaceful human being.

- it makes me accompany fear a lot and learn how fear itself is not bad or the thing to fight. Being a coward it has taught me that it’s often times an under valued misunderstood feeling and mechanism that deserves as much love and attention as any other feeling and mechanism like love and joy.

- it makes me want to include and understand other peoples fear and would make me less of a bulldozer and bypasser. So I would developer the potential of being present with peoples freeze, and peoples fear without needing it to go away, or change.
- I won’t have to stop disconnecting from people when they feel fear since I’d be okay with and accustomed to it.

- it makes me understand others who are like that and have compassion instead of looking down on others who aren’t brave courageous or successful.

- less likely to take reckless and impulsive active actions that could get me into trouble in the physical world

- it means that I’m good at measuring power, which can be utilised in amazing ways. When one knows where power(the ability to create what is wanted) lies, it’s easier to find resources and especially resource people, and also makes me good at noticing peoples strengths and weaknesses. Helpful for others and helpful for me.

- it makes it harder for me to enable people doing things that are wrong for the, since their area of power is so incredibly apparent to me

- I move physically less which is nice for the over populated planet

- it helped me consider not having kids which is also nice for the planet.

- brave people might be inspired into transformation by experiences, but I get inspired to do it though fear and worry, in the end I get there too but the way is different.

- I know like no other how it feels to feel incapable which makes me less of a jeez why aren’t you just doing it I’m doing it person

- one can’t know what is black without knowing white, and as such by being an emotional/mental/physical/ coward I know what it’s like to be brave in all these areas, unlike a person who always has been a brave and courageous person. There’s tremendous meaning in there for me too.

- I don’t need to actually go outside to find things to work on internally so I can be comfy in my bed and work literally from whenever I have time wherever I have time, I’m not dependent on life giving me anything to agonise over at all, I’m plenty sufficient at doing that myself.
- of my mind can generate cowardice this powerfully, to the point I don’t live my life and am in my house all the time, then it can generate bravery and courage just as strongly as well.

- I always, have more to gain

- since I’m afraid all the time it also makes me recognise how I can learn from literally anyone and anything at anytime. There’s a humbleness in it. Clearly I don’t know it all. There’s a space that’s being opened to become an eternal student instead of a teacher which is very gentle soft and kind

- it makes me walk the planet a bit more gently and considerate

- it makes me open for things people normally wouldn’t want to consider which has added wildly interesting things to my life, since I’m pretty much in fear already there’s not much to lose perspective wise

- cowardice can be a good ego gate keeper cause it’ll always notice my place and when someone else in the moment is more superior than me (like in maybe skill, knowledge etc) which can upon notice be used as a temple bell to shift into openness to learn from them and or receive

- being very rigid in my mind being a coward gives me a lot of opportunity to keep trying with questioning my beliefs so it’s a wonderful ally to the imbalances that I currently have

- it gives someone else a moment to shine

- it gives me time to do other things than being busy being a leader which I’m not very interested in. Without my cowardice I might have never noticed that a lot of things in my life are not for me, and guides me towards what is for me.

- it’s been helping me come to terms with things I can’t control, and accept that pain and death in ways I didn’t want could happen. The acceptance of that brings a wonderful grace ironically. And an appreciation. A relief that I don’t control my life and how my death happens even when I think I do. Such a relief.

- I don’t control anything and it’s a relief, is what it is. Even in mt relationships I can only do my best but I can’t control the actual outcome of it.

- it gives me time and space to admire the bravery of other humans and beings.

- there’s a part of me that values what’s right for me or someone else more than my pride in that, like it’s not shameful to that part to end soemthing, quit or leave a situation, there’s a wisdom of stillness in it. Going forward isn’t always the right thing. And it teaches me there’s never a safety net. All I can do is accept what’s gonna come, and that the worst thing that can ever happen is just a thought anyway.

- because I’m too afraid to move I sometimes move inward, and it has shifted some things in ways I’m very grateful for. Or made me decide to make a different decision, something I didn’t consider if I wasn’t forced to deal with my fear first.

- it makes me like myself a lot more when I actually deal with and am in a good unconditional relationship with fear instead of bulldozing it. I’m glad that cowardice is like a partner that makes me work with it first before doing anything else. I like living in that way and if it wasn’t for my cowardice I don’t think I would’ve done it. I like how much more kind it makes me to myself and other people when I do work with it.

- I love how much kindness and empathy and compassion it evokes when I do work with it, no human being can be too bad or monstrous in that and I love that, it makes me connected with everyone and everything. Instead of wondering if I belong to people, if they love me, if they _____ it’ll make me say all people belong with me. Etc.

- it makes me inclusive instead of exclusive. Funny enough it might be the fastest route to everything I’ve ever wanted because all I wanted most, is to regain those qualities. Maybe living bravely in the world wouldn’t have done it for me who knows. Maybe this way is the most meaningful for me.

- it makes me think of solutions that aren’t violent. It brings a softness.

- in situations where a person shouldn’t overstep, I’m the gal to call

- there’s a natural pull to stillness. Which if developed more could make me a combination of both movement and stillness. Or movement out of stillness. A walking temple.

- I might get so tired of the me story over and over again that I relinquish it.

- there’s something very strong and fierce in stillness, opening up and giving my self up. It opens me up to become a vehicle instead of a me.

- is disrupts the me cause all of a sudden there’s a focus on outside the me.

- it makes other people seem like geniuses when solutions for me are so simple. Gives me trust in others.

- makes me rely on others and receive support connection and companionship. Reminds me of my interdependence which is a sweet place to be in.

*I am the authority on what's best for me; they are NOT

*I do not have to purchase anything if I don't want to or am pressured into or feel uncomfortable with

* I am allowed to take my time to make an informed decision; I do not have to rush/be rushed into an impulsive decision

* NO MEANS NO, not yes!

*Awareness of manipulation tactics: $$Upselling$$, telling me what I "need" /"you don't want that" (refer back to #1 : they don't know me & therefore don't know what's best for my needs!), dismissive/minimizing behavior, dominating/controlling behavior, putting me down in some way to make me feel like I NEED the product, (ex: "you have really damaged hair & need this product"), etc

*Being aware of their behavior & how they make me feel: Are they being pushy, passive-aggressive, demanding, belittling me, devaluing me, trying to control my decisions, ignoring things I say/talking over me, gaslighting me, invalidating me?, DO I FEEL LIKE I'M WALKING ON EGGSHELLS????, etc

*How am I behaving around them?: AM I FAWNING????? Am I trying to appease them in some way? Do I not want to "let them down?" Am I people-pleasing?

*Remembering that I AM THE CUSTOMER, not the other way around: they are there to help me, not dictate my decisions

*Just because they do a sales pitch on a product, does not mean I have to purchase it

* I am in control of my decisions & I decide what's best for me. I am in charge of my $ and the limits I set for myself

*Have a plan/research beforehand

*Awareness of my triggers related to salesmen & the environment I'm going into (social anxiety, agoraphobia, sense of urgency, $ spending, etc)

*Not being easily swayed by what they say/Holding onto myself & my reality

*Remembering that I am the one who has to live with my purchase/decision.....if not, I might have delayed anger/frustration about being manipulated/swayed into a purchase I didn't really want or felt pressured into

*Remembering that dealing with salesmen is sometimes like/can be similar to dealing with abusive, manipulative others & preparing for that......salesmen can be triggering for us

*Don't be too harsh on yourself if you do make a purchase you didn't want....because the first step to change is awareness of your deep, subconscious patterns & energy-dynamics with people

*Journal about your interactions with salesmen to learn about your subconscious patterns with them

*Learn about manipulative sales tactics so you can be prepared for battle lol

*Be gentle & compassionate with yourself & understand that pattern-breaking takes time.

*Do something calming beforehand. For me: I pray beforehand about decisions & dealing with salesmen, but I know not everyone does this.....maybe you could do some yoga, meditation, take a walk, etc beforehand to calm your mind & your anxieties

* Knowing you don't have to the apologize, justify, or overexplain your decisions to salesmen; You don't owe them anything

*Bring a pen and paper (or notes) to weigh your decisions if it helps! I am learning that I have to do this to best help myself

* Ask yourself: How can I make this process easier/less stressful for myself?

*Maybe plan a treat/something fun or indulgent for yourself afterwards?

* Know that it takes courage to deal with salesmen....you are strong & courageous!

*Knowing not all salemen are manipulative, but many are......and that it is inherently part of their job to be manipulative....to sell you things, to gain commission, to get you to spend a lot of $, etc.....they have/their employer has their own motives and their behavior is not really personal....they have a goal to attain.....but be aware of predatory behavior!

#salesmen #sales #Hair #hairsylists #hairappointments #budtenders #dispensary #cardealers #PTSD #CPTSD #agency #dealingwithmanipulators #SocialAnxiety #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #Overwhelm #decisionmaking #trigger #moneyspending #Fear #worry

I'm in a position that idk can't find a light at the end of the tunnel! I am 44 I have a son who is autistic ADHD and ODD I have been on a downward spiral since 2013 and I can not find myself (my identity) I can't work because of my son disability (the school will only keep him for 4 hours a day and I am currently aty parents and some parents AREN'T good for people (you know what I mean) they made me move in with them last year (I didn't want to) because my son and I were homeless and I knew what was going to happen and that is why I did not want to I knew that I was going to be any in the situation I am now which is I'm about to be homeless again cuz they don't want me here so why didn't they just leave me be honest a year ago instead of bringing me in no positive feedback no knowing what to do next any advice nothing! They say they are my support but I don't think this is support ACTUALLY I KNOW IT ISN'T! I have been in trouble a couple times in my life legally and that is what's stopping me from applying for housing cuz #1 they are very opinionated and they will make sure that I feel some sort of way about it like I don't already do #2 I can't make any money because I can't work so Cade:s (myson) SSI is the only income that I have $900 a month and that's about a month's rent I need some advice I feel like I'm left one option and it's only because my mental disability and I've always been suicidal! I need to know what I can do to make this work for me somehow because I'm bombarded and I can't be straight so somebody can give me some advice about whether it's going to cost to turn myself in on a warrant for missing court dure to no ride and no sitter, tbh it doesn't matter why really I also have a warrant in Iowa because last year when I was homeless with my son I was kicked out of somewhere and it was zero degrees outside and when my ride showed up I just jumped in the car but my son in the car and went left and I didn't have him restrained in the seat ( mind you he was 9) when a piece officer pulled us over and give me a ticket and I was brought to my parents before I could go to Court (also I could not tell my parents about it because they are so judgmental and I can't do anything right so I was unable to make it to my court date so now I have a warrant there too, this is what stopping me from playing for housing I know I will be arrested I feel like I have no way out because I don't make any money I don't know how I can pay fines I don't know how I can do anything! I've been at my parents for the past year I feel like they have been shoving me on anybody to get me out of here and obviously no one wants somebody you can't even save themselves I need help with hole I'm in I've been looking for many different options since my son's autistic help with financially getting me out of here help with disciplining him ( because me being here for the past year that's what brought on the odd because you can't discipline a child when you're family belittles you in front of your children I've got to get out of here I do not want this to be where I end my life I'm reaching out one last time I have a day set the time set if I don't have a light or a Epiphany or something, this is the end

If this sounds jumbled, it's because it's still jumbled in my mind, but I still wanted to reach some people......Please bear with me.

This post is for all the teachers who have taught during the pandemic…

You might not know it, but you may struggle with PTSD & triggers related to your job….this includes the ones who are still currently teaching.

To the 2019-2020 teachers……are you suddenly feeling very anxious & emotional and you don’t know why?

How about your students (more than “normal” spring break behavior & acting out...which was never actually "normal," but alarming to begin with)?

It could be that spring break is a trauma anniversary for you, as well as for your students…(and other human beings). Spring break is the time where we lost contact with our students due to covid shutdowns. Sure, we may have been there online with them, but that wasn’t normal/the same….to them or to us.

Some of us are overfunctioners during chaos…while others are underfunctioners. I was definitely an underfunctioner….and being the team leader, I was very grateful to my grade level team for stepping in and doing the necessary work for virtual learning.

In addition to work, I was dealing with other traumas going on at the same time and I struggled to function at all….it was all too much for me and I felt like I was drowning…..not only for myself, but for my students…I knew they needed so much…way more than I had to give, or for that matter, they needed way more than anyone could give. I was not the teacher that I wanted to be….and I battle with that a lot. However, I am learning to forgive myself…..I know I was doing the best I could do at the time.

At home, I was stuck in an abusive relationship that affected my whole psyche….and I know that I wasn’t the only one…..domestic violence rates have been higher than ever than before during this pandemic (my state of Oklahoma being #1 ).

Did you know that domestic abuse affects children as well? I began to see the trauma-responses play out upon our physical return to school in August 2020…..which made me see my childhood trauma through them. To put this into actual words is hard because it is so complex. But I also felt that no one else could see what I saw as a teacher (even other teachers/faculty)….I was hypervigilant & felt alone in my thoughts & worries….I stayed to myself as much as I could at work & in my personal life. It was rough.

Summer 2021, I was actually diagnosed with PTSD (which is actually CPTSD)----this was both a relief, a shock, & a grieving process. Not only that, but I began to see how the actual PTSD was playing out in my life….and how hard it is to “get back to normal.” I also saw it in my past.

With March around the corner, I am finding myself in this same internal panic and shame. I am no longer a teacher, but that doesn’t make it go away. I have learned that trauma anniversaries are very real, even if you try to avoid thinking about them. Your body always remembers them…..be it sensory triggers: the feel of the weather, the blossoms on a tree, the smell of spring weather, etc, physical reminder triggers: the world declaring the covid anniversary, picture memories that pop up on your phone via iphone, social media, timehop, etc….or internal triggers.

There’s this big misconception that flashbacks always have a visual component. Many times they don’t….many times it’s a feeling, a sensation, a sense of panic or urgency.

I write this so that if any of you teachers out there (past & present), are struggling right now, know that you are not alone.

Our students are still struggling as well. In fact, the CDC confirms this…..although most teachers knew this already since we’ve witnessed it in the classroom. Children are struggling with anxiety, depression, suicide, self-harm, substance abuse, avoidance, distraction, procrastination in higher rates than ever. I do not know the answer to these issues, but I know the first step is acknowledging that there is a problem. I believe we have a growing amount of students, teachers, parents, adults with PTSD…..but the world simply doesn’t understand the signs of & complexities of PTSD. The world needs education on PTSD now more than ever….and I hope they can see this sooner rather than later.

This post can apply to any other person regarding Pandemic-related PTSD….not just teachers & students. Know that if you are suddenly feeling on edge this month of March, you are not alone….March is a triggering month, a trauma anniversary for many people. Please know that you are not alone.

#PTSD #CPTSD #pandemic #Springbreak #COVID19 #mentalhealthepidemic #astrugglinggeneration #ptsdeducation #triggers #March #march2020 #DomesticAbuse #Students #Teachers #Parents #Poverty

#don 't tell me what to do!!!!

Hi, my name is MSNTexas. I'm here because I am a senior citizen who is active and was very recently diagnosed with ADHD. It explains a lot of things in my past. I am looking for ways to cope with the boredom which seems to be my #1 trigger.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #ADHD

♡ " I'm A ▪︎True Pagan ▪︎ At Heart And Soul ... My Belief's Are Very Important To Me... Because It Actually Help's Me To Be Able To Stay Truly Grounded And Centered... In My Life... I'm Painfully Shy And Quite Because That's How I've Been All Of My Life... I Have A Big Pure Heart... And Right Now It's Locked Up And Safe... I Only Talk To People Because Of My Job... On Here I Can't See Anyone Face To Face... So It Make's It Easier For Me To Communicate More... I Help All Walk's Of Life... At My Job... My Customer's.... Like Me.. And The One's That Keep On Coming Back To See Me... I Call Them "My Client's"... Because They Are Basically The Same Customer's Who Leave Me Tip's For My Customer Service... And That Say's Alot To Me In What I Bring To The Table... Sure I Do Get Mean Jerk's... Or People Who Hit On Me Etc... But My #1 Thing That Make's Me Good At My Job.. Is By Simply Being Patient And Kind... And It's A Damn Shame That People Cannot Do Any Of That.. To Make Life Better For Themselve's.... I Love Hard Within Reason.. Not On A Whim... " ♡ Sincerely, °•° Your "Viking Queen"... SKADI KVITRAVN °•° #Thought 's