MaybeFibromyalgia

I have been battling with the fact that I can’t handle working anymore. I finally did it this past Monday and, while very sad on the one hand, on the other hand I also feel an incredible sense of relief. The struggle of pretending I was ok enough to hold down a job was making all of my symptoms worse. The stress of feeling like a disappointment as an employee is suddenly gone. I can focus on me, which is what I should’ve been doing anyway. I’ve been making all of my decisions based on money. Money stress isn’t new, so hopefully if I feel better, life in general will be better. We always manage to pay the bills. I feel genuinely happy for the first time in awhile. #Undiagnosed #exhausted #Insomnia #ChronicPain #MaybeFibromyalgia

These past couple of weeks have been hard on me. First off, I am an essential worker where I work with laboratory animals as their caretaker. This means I have to be at work. My fiancé and I have been fighting the past couple of weeks over wedding stuff. He already has mental health issues (I’m thinking bipolar, but we don’t know). The stress of this pandemic as well as worrying about finding a place to live and getting married on Halloween has been getting to us. And of course, I have no idea where my physical health is at right now. I’m having low grade fevers every day now, and my pain and fatigue are awful. Depression and anxiety have been bitches for me. Right now, all I want to do is go to bed and not think about anything. I am so tired and so done with everything.
#Depression #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MaybeAutoimmune #MaybeFibromyalgia