Medicines

What anti depressants do to you...? Do you even remain real as the drugs work your mind in ways that makes you functional, 'normal' and apparently makes you feel better? Actually my grief, loss and despair remains and I continue to feel the great intensity of it all but yet it appears for most that I have got over my trauma and moved on. And this is so after the knowledge that it wasn't just one episode but a rapid of losses and tosses that plagued my life. The experience has scarred me with deep craters in my heart and soul but my mind thanks to my medicines maneuvers to render me functional at many levels and particularly in others company to appear very sociable. Loneliness is extreme and I'm battling that along with my grief and just about trying to keep myself afloat. The alternative is more of my anguish and isolation and suicidal ideation is constant. So evidently medicines don't cure your depression & despair but coats it with some layering to give symptomatic relief. The sense of wounded self remains and the aggrieved 'I' lingers something the medicines just about camouflages and the patent indignity that my life has repeatedly endured remains. It is considered unbecoming to talk about self however genuinely wounded, in evolved circles or for that matter in pseudo cultures of positivity that saturates most social spaces today. So at many levels I live a life of charade, deceit in coping and managing. Thats the only way I get some company and socialization to carry on but the consequences of anxiety all these produces compounds the duress. The only genuine comfort I have is my dog Mily. 😢

Will be happy to hear responses of those who feel the effects of antidepressants that is certainly helpful at one level but makes you feel more isolated, your grief, loss and angst invalidated #Grief #Medicines #Loneliness #Anxiety