Loneliness

Hi, my name is StoicMongoose4610. I'm here because...is there one reason, no. There is to learn, share, to connect. Alone not lonely, but aways open-minded and desiring that sounding board that opens opportunities due to the acceptance of other opinions and aligned thought process. The extra idea that can't be thought of when going through stress.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression

There were no people, No applause,No one cheering me on. Just me,in the silence learning how to survive, how to breathe, how to keep going when everything in me wanted to shut down.

There were nights I held my own heart, whispering, “You’ll get through this,” even when I wasn’t sure I believed it. Days where I showed up with a smile, while my soul felt like it was dragging behind me, bruised and tired.

But I kept going.

Not because I always felt strong, but because something inside me refused to let the darkness win. I realized then, strength isn’t loud. It doesn’t always roar. Sometimes, it’s a quiet decision to stand up one more time, even when no one sees it. Even when no one will ever know what it took.

That’s the kind of strength I found. Not in crowds. Not in praise. But in the lonely, unseen moments that shaped me.

So now, when people see the calm in my eyes or the smile on my face, they don’t always know where it came from. But I do. It came from every moment I chose to rise in silence.

And that’s more than enough for me.

Thank you#MentalHealth #selfcare

I now spend almost every night awake and then pass out for a couple of hours during the day.

It's maing my life almost impossible to live. I have the challenge of C-PTSD as well, which means that those lonely nightime hours are normally filled with hallucinations, flashblacks and panic attacks and I have little way to calm my mind, whilst sitting in the dark on my own. This leads to deep boughts of depression and helplessness.

I feel lucky that I have found this site, as I am UK based and many fellow members are from other parts of the World and awake when I am. It really helps to talk to people and take my mind off the loneliness of constantly living in darkness.

It also has a huge effect on my ability to plan activities during the day. I'm either completely exhausted or miss vital phone calls and emails because my body will just give up and I will fall asleep in front of the computer or trying attend courses online.

If there is ever anyone out there who needs a chat or a bit of company, please feel free to reach out.

I use a VPN, so I know that it can present on here that I am in a different country but I am based in the UK and at the moment, it's 1.30am!

Hi, my name is poeticrising! I'm here because I went through a health crisis last year and have been having a hard time adjusting to chronic illness. Just looking for community and advice! Im the only person in my friend group and family living with this so it can feel lonely at times. Looking forward to learning and connecting with you all!

#MightyTogether #ChronicIllness

I have fibromyalgia and also other conditions and I'm feeling like no one believe me......especially at work .

I think I ll loose my job because of my fibromyalgia I can't concentrate at all or organise my work and I'm so slow .

I just wants some opinions.

I'm feeling so lonely 🙁

Do I Love Myself Enough to Stay? — A Personal Reflection on Addiction, Isolation, and Hope

Joyner Lucus and Jelly Roll song “Best For Me” inspired this and the poem that follows.

“How can I love someone and learn to let them go?” Let me rephrase ” How can I love myself enough to let my self go?”

Addiction is more than just a disease. It’s a mirror that reflects our deepest wounds, fears, and doubts. For those of us caught in its grasp, every day can feel like a battle between the person we used to be, the person others want us to be, and the person we are right now—hurting, surviving, and searching for a way out.

I recently listened to a song that cut me open in ways I wasn’t prepared for. It mirrored my reality so closely that it forced me to sit with my truth, that I often try to avoid. The truth is: I am struggling. I’m not proud of where I am, and some days, I hate myself for breathing.

On one side, I feel like a complete disappointment. Not just to others—but to myself. I can’t be what everyone expects. I’m tired. I’m lonely. I keep falling into myself. People have left. Some abandoned me, others just stopped believing. And when the world gives up on you, it’s easy to believe you should too.

I often find myself asking: Is this it? Is dying an addict the only fate left for me? Is that what’s best for me? It’s a dark thought, one that creeps in during the silent hours. But it’s real. It’s raw. It’s where I’ve been.

But then there’s another voice in me. A voice that sounds like Joyner Lucas when he raps about the pain behind having someone he loves becoming an addict. When he said ” I never thought id see the day you let addiction ruin your life;” neither did I.

Because the truth is, I didn’t set out to become this. I didn’t want to lose myself. I used to be strong. Driven. Resilient. I held things together while falling apart inside. I asked for help. I cried out…….I was ignored.

So I shut down. I pulled away. I started hiding because being seen didn’t help. Being vulnerable only made me feel more alone.

People see the addict and call them selfish. Weak. But what they don’t see is the pain behind the silence. The trauma behind the relapse. The human behind the habit. I don’t use the word “disease” as an excuse—it’s just my reality. And I’ve never stopped asking for a way out.

The isolation cuts deeper than most realize. The hardest part is trying to love yourself when everyone else has walked away. I ask myself daily: Do I love myself enough to stay? Do I believe in a version of me that’s worth fighting for, even when no one else does?

And maybe I don’t have a clear answer yet. But I’m still here. Still breathing. Still writing this. And maybe that—just maybe—is enough. Maybe that’s where healing begins.

Because I’m learning that recovery isn’t just about sobriety. It’s about finding myself again. It’s about giving myself grace when no one else does. It’s about fighting to believe that even if I’m not who I used to be, I’m still someone worth saving.

So if you’re reading this, and you see yourself in these words know that you’re not alone. You’re not weak. You’re not a failure. You’re a survivor. And even if the world has given up on you, you don’t have to give up on yourself.

Not today.

Spoken Word Piece Inspired by my Truth

“Do I Love Myself Enough to Stay?”

I hear this song,

and I see myself.

My addiction—my shadow.

One side of me, broken glass,

cutting deep with the reflection of disappointment.

I hate myself…

every day I breathe feels like a punishment.

It’s lonely. Daunting.

I can’t be what they want.

I’m not the problem—

but I carry the blame anyway.

And when I fall low,

I sink into the thought that maybe…

maybe dying an addict

is what’s best for me.

Because I’ve let everyone down.

They all left.

So now it’s me…

against me.

But there’s another side—

a voice like Joyner Lucas in my head,

spitting truth I recognize in my soul.

Yes, I became an addict.

Yes, I lost myself.

No, I’m not who I used to be.

I built walls,

not because I don’t care—

but because I feel like a disappointment.

They say I’m selfish.

Say I’m weak.

But they never saw me dying inside

while still holding everything together.

I asked for help.

I showed my pain.

And they ignored it.

So I fell.

Not because I wanted to…

but because I was human.

Now I’m quiet.

Distant.

Alone.

The only one who can pull me out… is me.

I don’t blame the disease.

But don’t blame me for breaking

when I carried the silence like a boulder on my back.

Excuse me for bleeding while smiling.

For drowning while still trying to keep others afloat.

So do what’s best for you.

But tell me—

how do I believe in me

when no one else does?

What’s left to believe in

when all I see is failure in the mirror?

Am I next to leave… even myself?

Is it really love

if you have to ask them to stay?

And now,

the most haunting question of all:

Do I love myself enough to stay?

I don’t know yet.

But I’m still here.

Still breathing.

Still fighting.

Maybe that’s my answer.

Maybe… just maybe…

that’s where healing begins

BigmommaJ

riseaboveyournormblog.wordpress.com