Loneliness

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Yes, We Autistics Can Socialize

Throughout my life, as an autistic person, I have been fortunate to have great moments where I have been able to socialize and gain friendships. There were also times where, due to my misunderstanding of certain social situations and the anxiety that comes with it, where this has been difficult for me and has led to me feeling lonely. Such feelings of loneliness are not uncommon amongst our community. This loneliness has even led to dire results for us. The truth of the matter is that we autistics can be social creatures if we are able to socialize on our terms. Each autistic person is different when it comes to how much socialization they want in their life. There are a good number of us who want to thrive socially in our lives. We want to gain such experiences and know that it will be fulfilling for us. With that said, it must be noted that we socialize differently from our neurotypical peers. ​

In fact, fellow autistic writer Pete Wharmby wrote in his book, Untypical, pointers to keep in mind when it comes to how we socialize. Some autistics might not be consistent in their interactions with others (Wharmby 2022). This does not mean that the autistic person does not value a relationship. Friendship is greatly valued and that friendship just works differently for us. There are some of us who rather interact online rather than in person (Wharmby 2022). This does not mean that the autistic person does not want to meet up with someone. The autistic person might just feel less stressed by interacting online. There are also some of us who might mentally tire out at an event for too long and might leave early (Wharmby 2022). This does notmean that they are not enjoying the company or having a good time. In fact, they might have an amazing time. It could just be the case that the autistic person might be drained from too much social interaction and would need to recharge.

Like I stated before, much of this differs with each autistic individual. However, of all the tips Wharmby makes, I relate to the last one the most. There have been many times where I would go to social events with friends and enjoy myself. I would love every minute of it and even become the life of the party. The bell of the ball if you can say that. However, there are times when I would need to leave early because I might get sensory overload. Nevertheless, I still have a good time and go to more in the future. I just need to recharge my batteries, that’s all.

The bottom line is that we autistics can socialize with others. Many of us have different ways to socialize and we need to do it on our own terms. This helps to make it all possible. We can reach a social goal, if it is done our way.

References:

Wharmby, P. (2022). Untypical. HarperCollins Publishers.

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I'm lost. I don't know what I'm doing, I'm terrified of screwing up, stressed and sooooo damn lonely it hurts. Lately I just can't stop crying.

#Anxiety #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder

12 reactions 3 comments
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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is mama_bman. I'm looking for other parents raising teens with complicated mental health diagnoses. it’s such a lonely road to walk when other parents judge you as if I don’t take care of her. I am fighting for her.

#MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder #anxiety #PTSD #Lupus #parenting #teenswithbpd

26 reactions 6 comments
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THIS WORLD NEEDS YOU.

“The one thing that you have that nobody else has is YOU. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write, and draw, and build, and play, and dance, and live as only you can.”
-Neil Gaiman

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Loneliness

12 reactions 4 comments
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Needing to find the strength to stay here

Wish i could end this , the sadness , loneliness and deep emptiness i feel some days and the flashbacks, voices and panic attacks on other days. It gets harder to get up and carry on day after day. My son is going on holiday. Maybe now would be a good time. Then he wouldn't be the one to find me so i would spare him that. I have a plan. I know exactly how to do it. It would be easy - But I just sit here crying - I am remembering when i fell a few weeks ago, hit my head really bad and bleeding all over the pavement, i lay their looking at my youngest daughters face. The scared worried look, her eyes, staring at me filling with tears but trying hard to not let it show. How can i sit here contemplating death by my own hand. So selfish to think that, to put my children and grandchildren through that. I don't really remember my grandad i was too young when he took his own life, he lost his battle to live. I wish i could talk to to him, to ask him does he look down on his family and regret what he did . Maybe he doesn't see us, maybe he is in hell. I don't want to go there i don't want to suffer after death as well.
#Depression #MentalHealth #SuicidalThoughts

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149 reactions 16 comments
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Feeling Lost, Feeling Lonely, struggling to find joy.

I’ve been in my head all day long. I have bipolar 2 and the roll coaster of moods is just too much now. I feel completely lost because I am trying to rebuild my life. I have a cat who I love dearly and I look at as my son but that’s basically all I have now. I was in an abusive relationship for 5 1/2 years but got out last October. I got really depressed the months following the end of the relationship. After that I was hypomanic/ in a mixed state and it was bad really really bad and I lost control. After that I fell into an even worse depression which I’m currently in. This depression started the beginning of May. This is kinda random but I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… I feel like the pandemic broke my soul. I’m trying to rebuild now that I no longer have my relationship which became everything in my life but I’m just tired of trying. I’ve spent a lot of time alone the last 5-6 weeks and it’s starting to really take a toll. I’m honestly not sure how to rebuild? I have no friends now I’ve lost them over the years. I feel like I shut off during the pandemic and since then. I was just in survival mode and now that I’m starting to feel more safe and able to rebuild I don’t know where to even start. I’m feeling completely overwhelmed and literally do not know how I’m going to go on. I feel numb. Like I’m finally in a place where my body feels safe and I can try to move forward but now that I’m there at this place I’m realizing I don’t want to move forward. I never did. And now I just want to go back to that relationship because I had a way out then. Now I would have to do it myself. I dont think I have that in me either. But I just want to quit. My Mom helped me out of the relationship kinda forced my hand once she found out but I really wanted to die then but she helped me to safety but now I’m on my own again. She took away the way I self harmed. I know all of this sounds awful but that’s how I’ve been feeling lately. She wanted me safe but doesn’t want to help me survive without the crotch I was using ( my ex) I used him as a way to get by. It’s been a dark week or two for my thoughts and I’m truly at a lost on how to move forward. I just wish months away. I’ve literally started every month since the relationship ended saying I just need to get through this month. Next month will be better. But what month will that actually happen? I’m completely miserable and I thought a lot of it had to do with my relationship but I’m realizing now that I’m just miserable in general. It’s really terrible. I’m trying to find the will to keep going but I don’t think I have it in me. Not this time. I don’t have it anymore. I feel like this time is different and in some ways that scares me in other ways I’m glad. Like maybe this time I can be free. I don’t want to leave my cat though so in some ways I wish I had someone I trusted to care for him. But I don’t. So I’m honestly hanging on for him. I am for my Mom and my sister and my grandmother but I never really get to see them or talk to them for any support. And I know it would reck them but is staying for other people all I’m living for now? That’s what it feels like, I’m literally going on because I can’t do that to them? What kind of life is that? I’m trying to find other reasons but I don’t have any. I feel completely alone and that’s been really really hard to come to terms with that. Trying to come to terms with the fact that I’m truly alone. I ended up just letting a bunch of thoughts out that part of me doesn’t want to share but I’ve been feeling so alone that I just can’t keep them all inside anymore. I have a therapist I talk to once a week but that’s it. I have no one to let these feelings out to because I have literally no one to tell and no one that I feel like can relate to me now. I’ve become a very different person from who I was before I got into the abusive relationship and this person doesn’t know how to find her footing to try to keep going? I’ve written more than one post lately that I never ended up posting maybe this one will be the same? Or maybe I’ll delete it after I do post it? #Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression #Abuse #Trauma #SuicidalThoughts

59 reactions 12 comments
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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is PurpleyBluebird1828. I'm here because I want to join communities sharing their experiences with mild symptoms of depression and anxiety, as well as intense loneliness. I often feel alone with my thoughts and feelings, which build up over time and contribute to various health issues. Being a part of a group would give me a sense of reassurance, comfort, and understanding from those who know what it's like or have knowledge on how to address mental health issues.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression

21 reactions 7 comments
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Feeling so alone

I am so unsettled today. My garden is so still , nothing moving except the birds. Their morning songs fill the air. Why can i not find the peace and tranquillity that it should bring.The giant oak tree , i wish , could reach down and lift me into its branches to cradle me, protect me, to make me feel safe. I feel so alone #Depression #MentalHealth #Loneliness

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64 reactions 16 comments