This is a poem written by my brother when he was 27 years old he died by suicide in 2009

The Void
How do you fight with a void?
Logically, turn your back to it and dive into the joys of life.
But the void surrounds me, separating me from the world of the living.
It eats enjoyment, desire, imagination and purpose.
Through it, the world seems on real and untouchable.
Actions I make in the void or without feeling or satisfaction.
Music sometimes filters through, but the good memories it brings can also bring an unquenchable longing.
I cannot walk out of the void.
I cannot drive out of the void. It follows me around, devouring silver linings.
Bringing only darkness, fear, regret, paranoia and loneliness in the biggest group of people.
Lonely with friends-I have nothing to say,
so I mumble, or even avoid people.
Sometimes I rummage through boxes full of odds and ends I’ve accumulated, looking for myself.
It seems the only things I do are the types one has to do-things I wouldn’t enjoy out of the void-
cleaning litter box, dishes, making bed.
Automatic things like showering, shaving, brushing teeth, etc. are forced.
Reading seems to keep my mind occupied.
Most forms of art, including animation and design just remind me what I’m not.
The void doesn’t make everything seem against me, but things make me feel worthless and a failure.
If I met myself at 10, the 10-year-old me would be intimidating.
He would be disgusted with me, being so confident himself

Daniel Pepper
August 9, 1993
#MightyPoets