Reminding myself to share happy moments too, because they are what keep me going…
Today I sit here watching my three year old favorite little guy swing on his new swing set with absolute joy on his face. All while my new baby sleeps, dreams, and drools away on my shoulder after feeding her. I feel this sense of sheer joy in my heart. I feel at peace. I, the anxious being I am feel calm. I feel love in its entirety. Then It occurs to me.. I’ve never felt this before. I’ve never felt sheer joy that comes from what It means to be part of a family until I had children. Don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing husband who is the love of my life and is an absolutely amazing father and has brought me joy. But not like this. Not like the one that comes from listening to two little feet run down the hallway at the crack of dawn. Or that comes from hearing my 3 year old sing his abcs, old McDonald, Itsy bitsy spider, and twinkle twinkle little star every single night of the week in his sweet little voice that shows me he can really hit those high notes. Or the one that comes from my babies wrapping their tiny little arms as far as they can around my neck. This my friend is living my best life. Sure I’m not traveling the world, at a beach, or being adventurous on a safari. But these two littles are my adventure, they bring an unexplainable love that fills my once broken heart and weaves its way through gently sewing all those cracks up making it whole again. They my friend are what living really is, they are what unconditional love really is, and they are what God had planned all along for me. Thank you so much God for my children, thank you for making me a mom, thank you for showing me what love really is. #Anxiety #Depression #Suicide #Happiness #living #Surviving #motherhoodsavedme #mykidsdeservebetterthanIhad