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    Can't stop pulling my hair. Got scared when I saw a flashing light. I left a message for my eye doctor but the stress of what could be overflowed into self destruction.

    I feel better after talking about it. Just gotta focus on today. Right now. That's all.

    If it is an eye thing it could help the neurologist (when I see him) figure out what's going on. Because I have a lot of MS like symptoms. I don't want MS I just want to feel better, no matter what it takes.

    No matter the answer I know it will work out. It's just getting the answer...that is the challenge.

    Wish me luck.

    #Trichotillomania #Trich #MultipleSclerosis #mslikesymptoms #Spoonie


    I've Been Gone Too Long (poem)

    #MultipleSclerosis #MS #mslikesymptoms #chronicallyill #Spoonie

    I’ve been gone too long

    Voids stare back at me

    Enough is enough; set me free

    Being in this body is tiring

    Enough is enough

    Every day feels the same

    Never changing, always something holding me back.

    Going every part of nowhere

    Only seeing what I want to see

    Nothing can change what’s already begun

    Even though I want it to change.

    Too many years wasted

    Only to find the truth in hell

    Over the hill, right in front of me

    Long has the fight lingered inside of me

    Only to be snuffed by the anger and rage

    Never again, never again!

    Great minds never cease.


    This poem was written from my bed as I was battling a menieres/neurological attack. I was fine one moment, then I was grabbing my head and throwing up in a bowl.

    What the?

    It’s frustrating, dealing with all of this. I’m strong and a badass but there are days when I don’t feel strong enough.

    I have to remember that I am because it’s true. I need to be kinder to myself, nicer to myself. Because I’m worth it.


    Multiple Sclerosis #MS #MultipleSclerosis #mslikesymptoms

    Making the time

    Understanding the pain

    Learning a little each day

    Time is everything

    In case we lose it all

    Playing with time

    Lying to yourself

    Endearing oneself to death.

    Sighing with exhaustion

    Crying tears of sadness

    Loss of memories

    Erosion of time

    Righteous anger

    Operating on fumes

    Saying you're OK

    Intend to make every moment count

    Saying you're NOT OK.


    This is another poem about my MS like symptoms.

    Basically, I'm seeing a neuro in May. I'm not expecting good news. I have been dxed with Peripheral Neuropathy a long **** time ago. But now I have double visions, weakness, numbness on side from time to time, and ****ty cognitive symptoms. Oh and incontinence (so embarrassing). No matter what the news is, it's not exactly stellar. This is how I keep mental control.