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#BPD #Trichotillomania #BodyShaming

I feel like to die i hate what i see in mirror and how I’m i gonna survive pulling those hairs and a body that’s made of bones.

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I wish to be someone else every day...

I'm new here... and I'm desperate. I hate being me & feeling this way. I have so many important things that need to be done... EXTREMELY important things & I just CAN'T. I can't bring myself to even open up the forms I need to fill out, I can't begin the process of washing dishes or cleaning the house. I can't even get medical help to help me get better because I "make too much" & the low income places are really rude to people. I don't even have a proper diagnosis, but I know I have ADHD, executive function disorder, & trichotillomania, along with the things that come with that (anxiety, depression, etc). I just want help...I want to be the best mom I can be for my kids and this is making it impossible. I just don't know how much longer I can deal with this/ myself on my own. I just don't even want to be me anymore. #ADHD #Trichotillomania #Anxiety #Depression #ExecutiveFunctionDisorder

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What is Trichotillomania?

Trichotillomania, also known as trich, is when someone cannot resist the urge to pull out their hair. They may pull out the hair on their head or in other places, such as their eyebrows or eyelashes. Trich is more common in teenagers and young adults. Your Thoughts: #ADHD #Autism #Trichotillomania #MentalHealth #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #Anxiety #Depression #Cancer #Mania #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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What causes rhinotillexomania?

Allergies and sinus infections can increase the amount of mucus in the nose, too. In rare situations, nose picking is a compulsive, repetitive behavior. This condition, called rhinotillexomania, often accompanies stress or anxiety and other habits like nail-biting or scratching. Your thoughts about this: #ADHD #Autism #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #MentalHealth #Mania #Trichotillomania #Cancer #Depression #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety

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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is Lellaby. I'm here because I live with trich over 15 years and like to get to know more people and how they live with it.

#MightyTogether #Trichotillomania

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Tesha1. I'm here because struggle with trichotillomania

#MightyTogether #Anxiety

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I’m a narcissist magnet

Now that I am setting more boundaries I am very disappointed, in myself, with the large amount of narcissistic people I have in my life. I used to get depressed thinking I had no value unless I am being used. Now I am mad because I know now I was abused. I got so messed up in my head growing up as a kid and all my trauma has carried over into adulthood. I decided to advocate for myself to receive proper treatment plans, medication, and nutrition. I did not want to live the rest of my life anxious and depressed and after much trial and error, I finally found a doctor who I felt safe speaking through my trauma. What has been so upsetting to me is the people in my life, family and friends, are really voicing negative opinions about my new found clarity. Saying no has been the hardest thing for me to say to people I love, but when my life got really hard I sat in my room and cried by myself. I never once called out for help to my “friends and family “. The mean and hurtful words that I have heard at first made me regret wanting to help myself. To finally get myself to the point where I could make the correct decision to seek help 1 triggering word could cause me to doubt my strength. I raised myself. I go to work even when I can barely get out of bed. I made sure I got my high school diploma. I bought my own cars, clothes and housing since I was 16. I’m mostly proud of is I didn’t make someone feel bad because I know how that feels. Sorry for venting on here but I don’t want to talk to anyone because all they are doing is taking notes on what not to do where others have failed. Now that I have got that off my mind I hopefully can get to sleep. Thank you for reading. #Anxiety #Trichotillomania #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #AspergersSyndrome #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors

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Fighting Against Agoraphobia

It never occurred to me that I would be diagnosed with Agoraphobia. I had been in a workforce program with the state concerning my disability and my ability to work while dealing with it. I saw a psychologist in order to test my mental acuity, my intelligence, and my ability to comprehend issues and problems pertaining to any field of work.

While they were testing me, I already knew some of the things to come. I definitely knew we would go over my schizoaffective disorder, anxiety, and depressive issues. I wasn’t fully aware of the intelligence testing but looking back it makes sense.

I was tested on a lot of different subjects, and talked to about my disorders, and just issues in general in my life, and how I went about solving these issues. I had previously never had this kind of testing done on me before.

Given this was 6 years ago, I don’t remember how long it took for the results to come back. They were hand typed by the psychologist herself, and everything about me was analyzed to the nth degree. When the results did come back, I wasn’t surprised that my schizoaffective disorder, along with my anxiety, depression, and trichotillomania was recorded as issues. Though, seeing Agoraphobia on the list was extremely new. Something I had never been diagnosed with and it never ran across my mind in the slightest. It all was making sense when I looked back across my times dealing with people and dealing with public spaces.

Agoraphobia is a fear of large crowds and open spaces. People thing it’s the fear of leaving your house, but that’s more of a side effect of those previously said issues. While I do to this day leave my house, I don’t do it often, and only when I need to. Yes, it’s a big issue for me.

In order for me to feel the need to leave my house, it needs to feel important. Something I have to do, am made to do, or is a responsibility that can’t be overseen. I have a child, too, and I will absolutely leave the house for him. This isn’t his problem to deal with, it’s mine, and I don’t want to subject him to my fears and anxieties.

I have the help of my parents and husband when need be. Though, there is no real trick to trying to build up that confidence to leave my house. I just have to do it. Some days I just can’t, and I give myself that space to be able to not leave and stay home as needed, but I will always have a backup plan or help, too. Nothing is ever left to the wayside and to just not be fruitful. Sometimes, I order my groceries, and sometimes I’ll have help going to a store. I like to try to have someone with me at all times. It seems worse with the schizoaffective, because it can sometimes turn into paranoia and delusions if I’m having a particularly stressful day.

I remember going to the state fair and walking into the food court where all these people were eating, and the walls started to close in on me. I started to hyperventilate, and I felt like I was going to faint. I stepped out of the food court and to the side of the building where there was little to no pedestrian traffic. I was able to ground myself and come back from the anxiety. I wanted to leave, though. I realized after that, which wasn’t initially long after I had been diagnosed, that I truly was Agoraphobic. It was heart-breaking to me, and it still is. My wants and goals don’t match up with what I deal with and it’s always hard to reconcile. I continue to push myself beyond my limits. I always have. I continually test myself, because I can’t help but feel I’m worth more than these disorders I deal with.

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