There are times when I can live in harmony with my anxiety. And those times are great, when I can “I see what you’re doing but hey that’s cool”

There are other time when it feels like an all out brawl, like I’m going through a boxing match just to drown out that voice. As much as I know what it’s telling me is wrong and unjustified I still can’t help but worry and get worked up.

It makes it very difficult for me to trust new people.....family...partners.

On the days it gets too much I don’t know how to deal with it;
I go silent or I stutter or I do this hand thing where I tap my fingers to my thumb. And those close to me notice and ask what’s wrong?.....It’s on these days I don’t know how to get past this voice....the voice reminding me how easy I am to crush, the voice that tells me I’m not worthy of love.

So I’m trying this new thing where I face this and get it out.....I have people that I care so much about and I don’t want to let this push them away like those in the past......it’s time for Round 2.....and I’m determined to face this head on.