I’ve been trying to deal with my overthinking…..I’m so down on myself right now and my bf is doing his own thing without a care in the world…..why is he still with me? If hes talking to other females? I don’t know how much more I can take….
My Story - I have bpd and I grew up in a household that was very unique/Strange. Well onlookers saw us as strange but as a child growing up it seemed very normal. I had no clue that both my parents were narcissistic. But looking back on things my dad was always leaving us mom would always get angry and take it out on me and my siblings. This happened for years. They said I didn't start talking till I was 2 years old, but I can remember dissociating at age 5 didn't know it was called that then, but it really sucked! My mom regularly invalidated me like it was some kind of game or something, but she had her own thing going own from her childhood and would zone out most of the time. This a chapter out of my childhood. From this I have trust issues and abandonment issues#trustissues #MentalHealth #MentalIllness #abandonmentissues #BPD
I refuse to open up about my mental health and childhood sexual abuse in any future romantic relationships. My X used my sexual abuse against me. He also used my mental illness against even though he had bipolar disorder and schizoaffective disorder. I don’t trust anyone. #trustissues ##SexualAbuse #majordepressivedisoder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #PTSD
How can I deal with my boyfriend meeting up with another girl? For context, she used to be in love with him and, whilst he never reciprocated, she never seemed to get the message. Fast forward 2 years of dating and she still asks to meet up with him whenever he is back home. He often obliges because he sees her as a good friend. He also had a history of not telling me they have met up so I don’t get angry with him but if anything it just makes me all the more paranoid and more suspicious.
He is not willing to cut her off but I don’t know how to cope with the paranoia and anxiety. I trust him with literally any other person but when it comes to her I have 0 trust when it comes to her.
#trustissues #relationship #Anxiety
I have my first appointment with a master psychologist on Friday. I’m really hoping I like her and it works out. The lady who diagnosed me with ASD thought I would like her but we’ll see. At the very least I hope it’s better than the sessions I had with a counselor last year. I want therapy to be helpful so badly but it’s just so hard to trust people… I wish I knew how to open up to people so someone could help me…
Igot a job today. I should be excited. If I should be excited, why do I have a knot in my throat? Why do I feel like the accusations are gonna start as soon as I clock in? I'm 1,000 miles away from my family because I screwed up. My in-laws decided I needed to go on a visit to see my parents. Without my husband or 6 year old. I feel like I'm slowly digging in quicksand. I feel like I have no control of my own life. #trustissues #Anxiety
Finding naked photos on my husbands harddrive is like a slap in the face. I just wanted to look at old photos of family on there and I find those. I knew he’s had photos sent to him because I caught him already and I knew he wrote other girls and that they were just “friends” and we constantly have this conversation about him writing girls to much but I thought he stopped and deleted them. He’s just a friendly, social guy but now I just feel so in adequate and self conscious. Even more so because there is a collection of these photos of old friends or women.. like what am I suppose to do..? I sat down and had a conversation with him about this all and he said it means nothing and he doesn’t know why he saved them and that he wants help but he keeps writing them back and allowing them to send photos. I don’t know how to help him and it breaks my heart that I’ve had this conversation more than once with him. I feel so pathetic like he doesn’t need or want me anymore since he could have apparently others. I don’t know if he does it for the attention of getting photos or if something else is going on but what hurts the most are the lies. The times I’ve confronted him and he lies or tries to down play it…. I seriously only have my husband. I don’t have friends and my world revolves around him so when my relationship with him is lacking or feels broken I feel like the only way to move forward is by giving up. Life is a chore anyways and if I don’t have my husband by me then what’s the point.
#Depression #SuicidalThoughts #trustissues #wannagiveup