Today my boyfriend confessed something I had been suspecting/fearing for a long time. I never really confronted him about it, because in my mind I was ashamed of even being distrustful of him. I tried all kinds of methods to help myself thinking differently, but I just couldn't shake the feeling of. It really brought me so much pain. Because on one hand I didn't trust him, and on the other hand I was doubting myself, feeling like this crazy girlfriend. Unrelated recent events have led me to thinking that I actually have a strong intuition. And today I finally had it confirmed. I was not even mad. The confirmation about being right, that the uncomfortable feelings, the distrust, the pain - it was NOT all in my head. For me, the lack of honesty is the worst. It creates loads of fake scenarios and hurt. I know I can always handle the truth, so that's really all I need and expect to have peace. I consider myself an incredibly understanding and non-judgemental person, so the truth itself did not bother me, even though my intuition was right and my fear was real. I mean, I even understand why he kept this from me. But it's the lying and going behind my back that's unbearable. The feeling of distrust. So I felt the need to write this down, because now I'm just utterly relieved. I do indeed have a strong intuition that I can actually trust from now on. My feelings are real, and I have a whole new faith in myself!