Many people have had their opinions on my mental illnesses. Match making their assumptions to certain things I’ve done in the past, my behaviours and actions, my persona, my decision making and the obsession to listen to the whispers from those claiming that they have the exclusive story on my life, match making rumours to form their easy answer. From this basis they feel that they have the right to become judge, jury and executioner. The complexity and depth of knowledge an individual requires to be such, arguably still hasn’t been reached.

The medication used for Bipolar and Schizophrenia has are reported to shorten the life expectancy of the individual by 9-20years and 10-20 years respectively. More than smoking 40 cigarettes a day. So If you’re going to the effort of being interested and intrigued with a person and their circumstance, maybe save yourself sometime and get the full picture by actually asking the person. Moreover, how it is known when you are going to die, questions the validity of the claim by the so called health professionals.

I’m the first to admit that in the past I abused drink and drugs (cocaine) to cope. People put my consumption down to the cause of my mental illness. Bipolar Disorder is not caused by drug abuse. Substance abuse unfortunately goes hand in hand with Bipolar Disorder. An instant escape. The fact cocaine was used as an antidepressant not to long ago shows it has some positive effects. People say that I will have the come down and it’s dangerous. They never step back to realise the medication that I take daily is working on the same principle. That I have to feed my addiction so to speak. I’m a legal drug addict. If I didn’t have my daily dose, not only would it be the bipolar but also the withdrawal from antidepressants and antipsychotics or anticonvulsants.

The stark reality is that it’s far from romantic or desirable to be living with a mental illness. Everything that I was doing was a response to the pain and suffering I was going through. My responses may not have been the most productive or proactive nor positive but I have since learnt from them. My purpose on this Earth is not to make you understand my journey, I’m here to be on that journey.

But some people are always happy to give their understanding and not so keen on hearing mine. People who don’t really know me or haven’t seen me for a while, comment when they find out I have bipolar disorder, that they would have never known. I often wonder why that is? Do you have to act a certain way in front of people? Are you supposed to strip naked and climb up a building then hide in your bedroom for 3 days? Do these people understand that people with illnesses are given medication? Bipolar Disorder sufferers are no different.

My full account is attached below 👇🏼

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