neverbeenloved

Today I woke up crying, scared about my future and where it will go. I love my apartment but my landlord, the office and certain neighbors hate me. Have gone above and beyond to take me down. So how am I supposed to move when I have no family or friends. No help whatsoever. I have no money saved or any extra each month so I can't afford movers, new deposits new fees. I'm physically and mentally unable to move. And I have no help. So what do I do ? I would rather die than be homeless. I don't want to lose anything else in my life, I have lost enough. And I will never be able to get it back. I just don't matter to anyone for anything. So when I get up each day, I have no more will left inside of me. All my health problems have finally taken me down. I physically, emotionally and mentally am a goner. I don't want things to be like this, but I have no answers and I really don't know what to do anymore. If killing myself wouldn't hurt, I would have already done it. I know I'm ranting. But the world has been cruel to me my entire life. Bullied since a child and I am still bullied today and I am tired and don't want to try anymore. I wish I wouldn't wake up each day
I wish it was over for me, everything else has been
#Ijustdontcareanymore #neverbeenloved #solonely #ChronicInflammatoryDemyelinatingPolyneuropathy #HIVAIDS #GuillainBarreSyndrome #ihatemylife

people say they want this for you and that, but they don’t. they want it for you until it infringes on them. i’ve never been loved enough for someone to put me first. not my parents, not my family. no one. i was always told what i did was wrong or never good enough. and if i were gone, people wouldn’t miss me, they’d just miss what i did for them.