When you need support from your family, but all you get is a cold answer in return. 😑😑😑 All I mentioned was how I’m looking for more effective treatments for my #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder because I’ve been taking medicines for as long as I can remember and my current therapy hasn’t been enough to give me relief.

And I asked if she’d be willing to go to an event that would mean a lot to me: the 26th Annual OCD convention being held in Austin, Texas. I tried to explain to my grandma what it’s about, (my family knows I have OCD but don’t think it’s that bad, but I’ve suffered in silence for such a long time.)

I tried to convince her that my mental health is getting worse because of this disorder. I told her I need extra help, and would really want her to go with me. Basically she didn’t take me seriously. She was against the idea from the get go and then completely cut me off. So I said Why won’t you just consider it??? It’s not like I expect a magical cure, but There are no doctors here where we live that primarily treats .

Well, I got angry afterwards because she wasn’t even willing to hear any more, and I said so that’s it? You’re not even willing to think more about it? No support? And she repeated “No support” as she shook her head. “You can go” I got livid, and knocked over a chair. “No ones willing to help me!” Now she’s upset with me. I know I didn’t act as effective as I should have, but they shut me out. So I’m on my own, as I already expected, but I’d hoped I’d have someone in my family on board. Wishful thinking. 🙄 I should have known better, because my family hasn’t tried to even understand my conditions, only in an invalidating manner.

Well, I wonder if the conversation would have gone different if I had said—What if I had a bad cold that turned into a bad infection, I’d go to the right specialist to treat that infection, as it could be a chronic illness like pneumonia. Well?!?! It’s like that with my , it’s an actual clinical condition that requires specialized treatment. As with any chronic condition, you go to the qualified physician, and there’d be no question going to get treatment either! So mental health shouldn’t be treated any different! 😫

This convention is held only once a year and is actually being held pretty close to where I live in NM. It’ll be an amazing opportunity, to get personal with those who specialize and treat this misunderstood disorder. There will be workshops to take part in, and advocates who will share their personal experiences. It’ll be like a gold mine for information AND treatment resources all in one place! I feel it’ll be exactly what I need to take steps towards better understanding of my own experience with as well as hands on support from the best treating doctors available right now. I hope I can still make it, even with no one around to support me. But I gotta do this for my own well-being, whether anyone approves of it or not. At the end of the day, I gotta choose what’s best for me.