“When people show you who they are believe them the first time”
I just saw a YouTube video and heard Oprah say this. I used to say it too, but I no longer buy into this belief, and I’ve stopped saying it. Here’s why:
“……… believe them the first time”
People can display unfortunate behaviours because of unresolved trauma, e.g. survival mechanisms, triggers etc. These behaviours are not who people are but merely symptoms of unhealed trauma.
Instead, I look at PATTERNS. These are also not who a person is, but if there’s a recurring pattern of destructive behaviour, it is a telltale that a person likely is struggling with some serious and unresolved issues.
In that case, I would reconsider how close I want to be with that person - for the sake of my mental health.
(Please understand this doesn’t apply for abusive behaviours in any shape or form)
I’m aiming to be more compassionate, both to myself and others.
Humans are quick to judge and jump to conclusions, throwing labels around and putting others in boxes. It’s not kind. It’s not cool. No wonder the world is at war; it lacks compassion.
Can we all become more aware and stop believing everything that meets the eye??
We never know what someone is going through.
Humbleness and compassion is cool; maybe we should all practice this a little more?