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I have BPD and my favorite person thought I was nosey

First a little complicated.. she's my ex.. who I broke up with because yes I got scared and now i know i was wrong. So she said Maybe someday I have hope and I just want to be close to her all the time..sorry off this topic. Well she got off work and she was threatened on the way home and wanted to be alone.. I understood. She said she may go away for the weekend too. Also couldn't blame her.. I was feeling a little selfish thar day because I had a small test done and wasn't supposed to be left alone and she said she'd be there.. but I mean who wouldn't want to collect themselves after what happend. Anyways, sat morning I said goodmorning and nothing.. nothing to the point it was supper time and she's never done this. At this point I'm in a panic because I just need to hear the words I'm ok. I didn't hear from her till Monday morning and she was upset with me for asking her not to scare me like that. I know I broke her heart and I deserve to be hurting and maybe I'll never have her back... and all she could really say was I was trying to control everything and was nosey. I truly believe of I heard the words I'm ok Saturday morning I wouldn't have had a little breakdown all weekend. I can't stop playing it through my head. I would never do that to someone of i cared about them amd said I understood their disorder. Am I wrong for wanting to be with her even though I don't feel wanted, but it's my fault? I don't know what to think to he honest #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #nosey #FavoritePerson #confused #overthinking #Wanted #Depression

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