confused

I’m so weak from everything. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to escape my addiction, or my life that my addiction takes me away from. Even when I start doing better for a while, it always comes back. Something in my life reminds me how horrible my existence is, and I fall back into my addiction. I can’t even enjoy the times when I’m doing well because I know they won’t last.
I’m not looking for advice here, just encouragement.

I don't think that I'm strong enough
'Cause there's fire in these hills
And I think I've lost my will
The more we try, the more we fail
-Imagine Dragons

° " Being Independent Is Like Survival Mode For Me... And When I Meet A Guy I Have To Swallow My Pride And Shut Down... And Let Them Pay For Thing's... I'm Not Used To It Because Of The Way My Ex Treated Me... And Made Me Very Dependant On Him... So Why Would I Let Another Man... Pay For My Thing's... So That Later On... If We Are Still Seeing One Another... And Tell Me That I Need To Do More And Pay For Thing's... No Thx... I'm Good Paying For Myself... And Yet The Men Get Disappointed... I'm The Type Of Person That Doesn't Like Asking For Thing's... Or Favor's... Because Later It Could Become A Form Of Abuse Or Even Blackmail.. Over Money... So I Like Being Able To Pay Off My Bill's... And It's A Turn Off To Some Dude's I Don't Get It... I Don't Want Men To Feel Like I'm Just Using Them... For Thing's It's Not In Me... So That's Why I Haven't Been On Another Date Since The Last Guy... " • #lost #Thought 's ☆▪︎☆Skaoi Kvitravn☆▪︎☆

I’m usually lucky 🍀 and sleep 😴 quite well but after a cold an hyper focus on my breathing 😮‍💨from a stuffy nose thankfully I’m over my cold now. But I still have that body protective thing I was doing where I was so focused on my breathing it’s a silly dumb anxiety thing but it’s like you forget to breathe and instead of doing it automatically you are doing it short ish sometimes focusing on the breath is said to calm you down in meditations spiritually but for me it’s the opposite. Any tips for getting to sleep, I’m trying to listen to calming music and affirmations but it’s not working as well as it usually would. I’m like half resting but conscious and if I sleep deeply like REM sleep it’s very little. Please help :( I feel so dumb and annoyed at myself. Sometimes even during the day I have that thing too like checking with myself with my breathing 😮‍💨 and it’s becoming an annoying new habit I just want to function normally and stop the silliness which I didn’t have this annoying thing until recently. It’s like yes my body is trying to protect me in its own way with anxiety but I don’t need this. #Anxiety #Breathing #dumb #Silly #Anxiety #shame #barriers #struggles #advice #themighty #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Support #help #Listener #Selfcompassion #feelingdumb #feelingsilly #Selfacceptance #confused #bodysymptoms #sensations #Hyperfocus #Meditation #tired #Insomnia

It felt as if my life had literally been turned upside down when I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis two years ago. Not such a big deal you may think but I was told to stop running which was truly my sanity.

My BPD and MDD need as much help as they can get and running was it for me. My BPD had become a lot worse over the years and running had restored some stability and enjoyment in my life.

A radiologist and neurosurgeon confirmed the diagnosis as did a spinal surgeon a year later. I was told that it would get worse, that surgery may be an option in the future, told to do lots of stretching, take a pile of pills every day and get on with my life. As advised, I stopped running and felt as if my world had collapsed. BPD on overdrive.

Fast forward to a month ago. The neurosurgeon requested a follow up MRI and told me last week that there is now no sign of spinal stenosis! What??? As I understand it, it isn't curable so what is going on?

I did the fish mouth thing when he casually mentioned this and eventually asked him what had happened to the spinal stenosis diagnosis. He dismissively mumbled something about 'looking at that' and changed the subject. I could not concentrate on anything he said after that. Duly dismissed. By the end of the consultation he had still not offered a possible explanation and considering his dismissive attitude, I was reluctant to ask again.

For the past two years the possibility of this progressing and impacting my mobility have made me extremely anxious. I have a son who has many mental health challenges and requires a certain degree of care. I have worried myself sick about the possibility of not being able to do this in the future. Now it is not even or was even a thing??

Has anyone had a similar experience with a spinal stenosis diagnosis or know whether it can heal? #stenosis #stenosisspine #confused #Misdiagnosis

I was dating this guy, and he wasn't all that I wanted him to be, but he was really nice. Along came my ex! He wanted to do all these things together and possibly get back in a relationship and I fell for it hook line and sinker, because I still care for him, and about him. Well, I believe my new boyfriend found out about how my ex and I were talking, and I came home, and he was just gone. Not a word, a letter nothing! I was confused, I had got my head back on straight and out of the clouds and was going to tell him about everything, but I didn't get a chance. I have tried to call, text Facebook but nothing! I have sent him apologizes and everything. Telling him that I miss him, but he won't respond. Do you think he will ever respond or is it a lost cause? #confused

I just want to share. I have had the strangest few weeks. TW just in case.
It seems as if everything that happens now reminds me or triggers me of something that happened in my past. I am jittery and anxious the whole time.
I've had some trouble with severe anxiety and panic attacks, but after 6 years intensive therapy they went away mostly. Now they are back. I am emotionally exhausted and confused. Sometimes this anxiety and panic is there without any apparent reason and it is affecting my work.
My previous therapist immigrated, and now that I got used to and started to really 'bond' with my new therapist, she's moved away and therapy is mostly via video calls. It's just not the same and I haven't been able to tell her a 10th of what I told my original therapist.
Back to now. My daughter has been going through a rough time and even though it's completely different from my history and my story, I feel helpless to change her / our circumstances. When she speaks to me about what bothers her, I am mostly able to help, even by just encouraging her. When I am alone though, my mind goes back to my past and when I felt the same way. It distracts me from my duties and makes it more difficult to concentrate on anything with my wayward thoughts.
How do I keep my past from influencing my present and future in such a way? It was under control, and then suddenly it's no more. #Depression #Bipolar #cptsd #SocialAnxiety #confused #Childhoodtrauma

Trigger Warning
I have been struggling with a dilemma. I see myself as a lesbian, because I know that is where my interests lie. However, I don't know whether it is from childhood sexual, emotional and physical abuse, or my failed marriage, or if this is how, deep down, I've always identified.
With my family, we grew up in a very strict and judgemental home, and anything out of the norm is just wrong. My parents never believed me about the abuse, and it went on for 9 years.
I've recently met a ladyfriend, and the interest is mutual. I just know where I belong, but it's going to tear my whole family apart. My daughter knows and supports me, because she wants me to be happy. But even she knows that it will tear the family apart, so we really have almost no-one to share with.
#LGBTQ #Abuse #Love #confused

Over the weekend my family & I received news anyone should not get. My brother who is 35, a year younger than me, passed away😭 He had struggled with mental health illness & other issues. We are working with the investigator to figure out what happened. He was in good spirits last Monday, this does not seem real. I know this had to be an accident, he was looking forward to starting his own business, had 4 doggies to take care of. I know he is in a better place, just gone to soon. I lost my friend, my niece & nephew lost an uncle. Thank you for letting me vent.#mighty #Depression #Anxiety #confused