I'm so confused at this point. I don't know, if my traits and symptoms come from undiagnosed ADHD, puberty or the years of too much stress. The thing is, stress won't get much better for the next 3 years because I'm going to move out to be able to dance more and still graduating school (I'm 16 yrs old). I'm book smart and never had issues with that, but I struggle with always coming late (poor understanding/sense of time...) forgetting that my friends and family existif don'tseeing them, sensory overload and hyperacusis, and putting away my technical devices (but I don't have any withdrawal-symptoms, so no phone/netflix/instagram/tiktok/Youtube addiction, I think it's more something about dopamine). Also setting priorities, making decisions, and a lot of oversharing. I get distracted by everything, constantly losing important stuff and throwing things on the floore by accidents, am still not able to eat/drink completly without spilling or making a mess, always assume that people are honest with me so usually don't get sarcasm right away, super empathetic and struggling to differentiate between my own and others feelings, I love stimming but it could be my body trying to release stress. I'm and always have been very hyperactive verbally and my mom wanted to send me to an therapist/coach when I was 8 yrs old because she got overwhelmed with my temper tantrums (or was I just confused by the loud, fast world?) but didn't.
The stress I'm experiencing comes from dealing with school, perfectionism and intense ballet training since 5 years. The ballet-bubble has some very ugly sides.
What if it turns out, that I'm just a typical teenager who is overwhelmed by everything(like the most)? Who has a lot of potential (A LOT) but got just so screwed by puberty and not having enough discipline to push trough it, that it get lost? I struggled with disordered eating (still, but it's getting better), self harm and bodydysmorphia. I'm super scared of hurting myself again because I know that I'm super capable of that.
That question remains, puberty, ADHD or stress overwhelm? Or a combination?
PS.: sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes, I'm not fluid in English.
#confused #MightyQuestions #SelfDoubt #Neurodiversity #ADHD #Stress #Anxiety