I needed to be reminded that my Mom didn't die because she didn't love me. As an only child, I dealt with this loss with a unique perspective of everyone else who loved my Mom. Sometimes, I still need to be reminded of her love for me. I also wish people would have shared memories of Mom when she was being her amazing, wonderful self.
#AfterSuicideLoss #Survivor #onlychild #parentalsuicide
#mentalwellness #MentalHealth I oft awake a feeling like a total misery.
The cat starts a meowing - come and feed me.
I stretch yawn and wonder, will I ever feel free?
This deep and heavy burden that lies in the centre of me.
It never seems to wander, its become a certainty.
Later in the day I visit, go to see my family.
We talk of the past, of nightmares gone, with a detached reality.
Inside i'm a hurting, I feel totally empty.
This numb sensation that carries on my soul has become my identity.
In the day I'm working to generate property. I like it because its money, more money to build more property.
It takes me away from feeling, this feeling that has engulfed me.
Oh why oh why am I cursed this way did I sin in a past century?
Friends rarely see this, this hidden side of me. Smiling,
laughing and taking the piss is also who I can be.
Listening, guiding, and caring for those who are on my
many branched tree.
Whenever I see Colin - The Kings Speech - on TV.
The life long affliction his majesty is battling for all to see.
With a resigned fate, and bravery, he battles his demons during a national tragedy.
I totally get the meaning behind this movie.
I've now come to the conclusion of my life's destiny.
This feeling is not going anywhere, its become embedded, staying, to a part of me.
Perhaps if I got support bared my soul to thee.
The love I receive, from the one I trust, would awash and
complete me.
Sometimes I bang my head against the wall, and say, its
simple really.
#Recovery #parentalsuicide #Happiness #Mentalillnessfeelslike
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