31 years ago at this moment I was in the birthing room getting ready to see my first baby. I can visualize every moment like it was yesterday. I wasn't supposed to be able to have children, the doctor had told me. Every child is a miracle but for me and my husband it was a miracle. We didn't know if we were having a baby boy or a baby girl so we had picked out the names for the baby that I dreamed of being a mom since I was a child. We chose the following names, Jacob Michael or Sarah Ann. At 2:08pm I gave birth to a 5.8oz baby boy! He was Full-term and I had gaind almost 40 lbs. He was so tiny that we had to buy premature baby clothes. Eventually he gained weight and grew into the extra large feet he was born with! 😄 I can't believe my baby is no longer here. It will be 3 years on Thanksgiving when he made the decision to end his life. I wish he knew he took a part of other's lives with him. I had decided that tonight I would go out and celebrate his life. Bought now I can barely breathe and want to hide in my bed from the world. I need lots of prayers and love right now. Happy birthday my "Honey Roasted Peanut" until we meet again remember I love you and miss you even when I'm asleep. #SuicideLossSurvivors #sucide #Heartbroken
#prayers #ChildLoss #AfterSuicideLoss
Keeping as simple as I can, and I very rarely can. I'm trying though. I had one near death experience out of the 5 times I died. At my own hand. Varying types blood pressure pills up to 80. Critical care for days then ICU for another 7. That was my second attempt since an assault, 5 weeks earlier, on me that caused facial, eye, and head trauma and loss of my vehicle. It's what followed that is much worse. My dad shot in chest but ruled suicide?!!!!! No way.....But my own mom and remaining siblings took my inheritance. I just can't fight for my 25%. I've never recuperated those past 2 months of others fighting for my life. Hundred labs a day. It was a miracle I lived. Physically very sick though still. Mentally not good either. They sold all my belongings treasures, memories. Me and my son's are torn apart though we have fought since homelessness since December. I miss talking to my mom . Miss my dad. But my near death experience changed some things for me. I don't get to die really. Not lights out forever. I just get to blink a few seconds and damn I'm still aware. I am wearing down fast. We have to leave this awful RV we've lived in, 2 days ago though we paid to stay here. I have no way to do anything. When it feels like the end , what do you do to find hope? # overwhelmed #Grief #AfterSuicideLoss #SuicideSurvivor #healthissues #familybetrayal
A poetic piece to guide and strengthen our intuition.
That ‘little voice’ that is always there, even when our minds are racing, chaotic, scattered, and in the midst of a storm.
#MentalHealth #Borderline #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #CPTSD #ADHD #neurodivergent #Autism #Neurodiversity #BipolarDisorder #BPD #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealthAdvocacy #MentalHealthStigma #Recovery #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Hope #heal #Healing #Grief #Selfcare #Selfcare #CheckInWithMe #IfYouFeelHopeless #AfterSuicideLoss #PTSD #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #ChildAbuse #neglect #narcissist #npd #Trauma #DepressionAwarenessWeek #GettingHelp #AdrenalInsufficiency #itsokaytonotbeokay #Selflove #HowToFightDepression
Hi everyone! I’m so glad I found this group and hope I can help one person fight another day or help a survivor know you can get through this. A little bit about my story, I grew up with my amazing mother. Unfortunately she ended her life (this was about 12th attempt throughout the years) when I was only 15 years old and I found her 5 days later hanging in our basement. My life was shattered. Clearly there is so much more to the story but here I am 20 years later and I have came to terms with her decision. Trust me lots of self care, therapy, grief groups, finally getting sober (8 years now) and more. Please feel free to ask me anything. Thanks for reading everyone (PS the picture I included is 1 of the 3 I have of her, one is her and the other one is my mom and me when I was little !!! #Suicide #SuicideSurvivor #greif #MentalHealth #SuicideLoss #AfterSuicideLoss #Depression #whatifs #Guilt #missmymom #SuicideSquad #suicidesucks
The other day, a coworker had to go to the doctor during the workday. It's normal to say I'm going to the doctor for stomach pain, the dentist for a cleaning, the eye doctor for new glasses, etc... Even in a mental health clinic, she didn't yet feel comfortable telling us that she was going to her therapist. While no medical event is another person's business to know, there is much more hesitation when it comes to mental health. I have done this too. "It's just a doctor's appointment", I'd say, not simply because it was a personal matter...it was a personal matter because of the judgment I feared from my boss and coworkers. I feared being labeled crazy or "having issues", looked down upon. Do you feel safe to say "I'm going to therapy" (if you go to therapy)? If you don't go to therapy yourself, how do you feel when you hear someone else is? It's ok to say you think they have issues, you worry, whatever. No answer is wrong. The conversation is what's important. #EndTheStigma #DBT #CBT #ParentingWithMentalIllness #Depression #ChildhoodAbuse #bipolar schiZoaffective disorder #Trauma #sad #Agoraphobia #ItsOKMan #AfterSuicideLoss #Grief #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Cancer
I've learned change isn't something I do well with. I know all the logical response. I should, I've heard plenty of it. But it just doesn't seem to help and maybe I just don't want it. I do know sooner or later I always come around...
My Wonder Woman: we'll be flying HIGH and wide again, as all Wonder Women do. I will be looking for YOU...