An open letter to #partnersofpmddpeeps #MensMentalHealth #PMDD #PremenstrualDysphoricDisorder #MentalHealth #lovedonesofpmddpeeps
Living with Pmdd is difficult for us. But its equally difficult for our loved ones.
I often feel they are given the hardest hit when our PMDD hell weeks strike as they are the ones closet to us.
We spent half the month living as an alter ego. From conversations with my own husband, he spends those weeks walking on eggs shells not knowing whether he is going to wake up to a word vomit of my own anger & self hatred that gets directed at him, whether he will find me inflicting harm on body in a desperate bid to try & find a way to release the inner urges to be unalive & see colour in the dark world once more or whether he simply find me drowning in a hell of fatigue, pain & tears.
It isn't just the monopoly of symptoms for me to deal with, but for him also.
To often I've forgetten that he needs time to ground himself in the unfamiliar world that is now not just mine, but his also, to cry, to catch his breath, to feel his own vulnerability & be able to talk about it.
All too often I've taken for granted that my good weeks should also mean they are his, without looking deeper and realising that my good weeks are the weeks that he struggles the most, in the calm before the storm, as he knows exactly what lies ahead.
Men, partners, loved ones.
Its ok to cry, to be vulnerable, to show vulnerability, to need support & seek support. Its ok if your good weeks don't coincide with ours.
You don't have to be ok for us all the time.