processingtakestime

I lost my oldest cat on Wednesday, October 2nd. Her name was Monet, she was 13 years old and we were together for 9 years. She outlived her younger brother Ashes and they lived together for 7 years. She leaves behind her current younger brother Gary, they were together for a little over 2 years.

Monet was my baby girl. So sweet, gentle, affectionate and a little sassy. She never failed to make her presence known to every visitor by rubbing her head or butt against them begging for rubs. She helped me through so many dark moments for close to a decade. With her passing came up so many emotions and thoughts. You see, Ashes and Monet were gifts from a significant ex-partner. They were daily reminders of the relationship that no longer exists in my life. I am currently grappling with the weight of releasing my pet back into the universe (because I certainly didn't lose my love for her), I am processing becoming conscious of the resentment and other negative emotions I still carried from the end of that previous, even long after it ended in reality (He hurt me then and that's why I am acting like this now). I wasn't ready before for closure but I feel I am now.

Baby girl is still helping me through the darkness. Just on the other side now.