petloss

My cat recently passed away and I can’t
stop thinking about how I found him.
I thought he was sleeping but he wasn’t. He was already dead underneath my car. MY CAR!!! He chose to lay there on his last moments. WHAT IF HE WAS WAITING FOR ME?? And I didn’t come out in time to SAVE him.
I COULDVE SAVED HIM.
He was DEAD already. UNDERNEATH my jeep.
I LIED ON THE HARD CONCRETE NEXT TO HIM SOBBING HIS NAME. I COULDNT BELIEVE IT WAS REAL.
I held his stiff paw before my dad came and helped me move his body.
I was pleading him to please come back.
I kept telling Momo I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry baby.
I don’t know what happened.
I’m so sorry my baby.

It’s only been 3 days.

I don’t know how to cope. I need all the support I can get. Please.

#petloss #Mourning #Anxiety

Tomorrow marks two years since the death of my border collie. Even though time has passed, I still remember the day like it was yesterday: taking them to the vet riddled with arthritis and pain and then being told the inevitable thing that there was nothing that could be done as he was very old and the best thing was to end his suffering. when it was done, at first I felt nothing but when I got home and I saw his blue lead, I broke down and let off a scream that can only be described as an agonising howl and the pain was unlike anything I have felt in years. The first few months were hard to deal with and so was the first anniversary last year. As time went on it became easier to deal with but at times I feel sudden episodes of sadness and have flashes of their face or memories of taking him for a walk. It affects my everyday life and I try my best to deal with it. I do keep in mind that I gave him a good life and did right by him in the end. Time doesn’t heal anything. It just makes it fade, but thankfully I’ve been surrounded by people who have helped ease the pain and hopefully, coming into the weekend I can continue to do so by making an effort to go out into the world and find some companionship.

Just something that I needed to get off my chest and I thank anyone who takes the time to read this can relate to it. and again, thank you for the acceptance into this community and that you all are finding your own ways of peace and meaning. 😔👍

#Grief #petloss #AutismSpectrumDisorder #AutismSpectrum #Autism #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety

Had to put down one of my two beautiful dogs today. She had some health issues but this came on very quick, and the vet said her tummy was so very filled with fluid, they couldn't even see her other organ clearly to assess. NO signs of heart murmur so they were surprised that her heart was so enlarged. Her trachea was moved 2 inches away from where it should have been because of all the fluid. What I'm writing and remember is cloudy, buried in the grief emotional mind, not at all being able to make any reasonable decision, let alone form a coherent sentence . I had a cataplexy attack collapsing from being in that room and moments.
She was 14, she was quirky and silly, stubborn, had a strong will, the kids in the neighborhood adored her and she them , just a gentle silly sweet pure little being. When having only two re a sons to stay alive and now one is gone, I'm just slipping further into making a plan that will let me be with my sweet again.

I don't want her to be gone. I wasn't ready. I wanted her to be healthy for the longest time.

After I left the vet I went to the local paxky store and got alcohol.. first drink since 14 years ago when I quit drinking.

I just really want to be with,my girl.

Sorry for rambling and incoherency

#MightyPets #petloss #Grief #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ChronicFatigue #ChronicPain #Alcoholism

Dive a little deeper into the topic of pet loss and grief by listening to today's podcast episode. I speak with Julie Marty-Pearson who has a doctorate in psychology and a podcast all about pets. Julie shares her own personal experiences with losing her two fur babies as well as ways to help you cope with the loss of your pet.

accordingtodes.com/105

#petlossandgrief #petgrief #petloss #copingwithloss #griefandloss #MentalHealth #griefawareness