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  • What's New in healing

    When healing did you ever start looking at your past and seeing a bunch of bad stuff about yourself in it?

    The therapists keep kicking me out and it literally makes me want to kill myself every time they do—they typically aren’t very kind while they do it. I’m seeing one now but don’t do trauma work with him and don’t plan to.

    So I’m kind of in this on my own. And to be honest people on this app never really respond anymore either so I don’t know if this is even worth it but I’m desperate right now.

    I’ve done different levels of healing and am usually pretty good at understanding the things that influenced me to act in less than desirable ways as well as the strengths that my trauma have developed or brought out in me.

    But lately all I see is all the embarrassing misunderstandings or horrible things I’ve done in my past and it’s like my history is rewriting itself to blame me for everything in my head and to question if I was really the problem and didn’t realize it and if everything really happened the way I always thought it did.

    I know healing can be ugly sometimes and often involves acknowledging your own blame and role on the situation. But I can’t tell if that’s what this is or if it’s me seeing things more clearly or if I’m attacking myself for no reason.

    My hope is this is a stage of healing that will give way to a more balanced view of what I’ve done wrong and what has been done wrong to me. But I just feel like garbage and like maybe everything was my fault.

    Is this a part of healing that will eventually lift? Or is this something else? Has anyone else experienced this?

    #Healing #PTSD #Abuse #Trauma


    Finding A Voice In Sharing- The Importance of Speaking Up

    It can be said that abuse survivors often find their voice in speaking up. Some may speak up right away, others don't speak up for years after. For me, I didn't speak up until a few years ago. The abuse started when I was a child and carried on into adulthood. I am not sure why I didn't speak up sooner, I think maybe it's because I didn't know I was being abused. Now, after being out of the situation and working towards processing the trauma and my experiences I can say that speaking up has been one of the best things I could have done. It gave me a voice to my story and it gives me the motivation to keep healing. I am not saying that speaking up is for everyone, only that it has helped me. If you don't want to go to the authorities then tell a trusted friend or family member if you can. Telling anyone lifts the burden off your shoulders and you no longer have to carry the secret of the abuse with you. Guilt and shame are not yours to carry around. It took me a long time to reach a point where I can put the blame on my abusers. My hope is that I can be a voice for others and show them that they are in charge of their lives. You can live a happy and fulfilling life despite what was done to you. The trauma was not your responsibility but now you must take charge of your own healing. *Disclaimer: If you are in a physically unsafe situation then please seek help. No one deserves to be abused, ever.* Use your voice for your healing, even just writing it out can be liberating. I use writing all the time and it has helped tremendously. Whatever works for you, do it. Give a voice to your pain and allow yourself the grace to heal. There is no shame in speaking up. But only do so if you are safe. Stay thankful and blessed my friends:)

    #PTSD #EmotionalAbuse #SexualAbuse #Healing #thankful #Blessed #Inspiration #Voice #Hope


    The Power of Affirmations

    It's amazing what our brains can do. If we feed it something positive it can change our whole outlook. I recently typed up some affirmations revolving round trauma healing. But affirmations can be anything that motivates you and makes you feel good about yourself. They say it's important to recite them as much as possible. Repeating my affirmations affirms in me that the abuse wasn't my fault and that healing is possible. What do affirmations mean to you? Blessings friends:)

    #affirmations #positive #Trauma #Healing #PTSD #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #Inspiration #thankful


    New therapist yet again. Solo roadtrip. Anxiety wanting to visit & oh so much more...

    .... 3rd time is the charm, right?

    Met my new therapist yesterday. 3rd one within the yr. Started Oct. 2021. Already missing my last therapist. Not a fan of repeating my "why" for therapy... a 3rd time.

    Going on another solo trip... 3rd one within the year. First one was November 2021. Last one was July of this yr, out of state. Putting my boundaries in place. Challenging myself & inner voice has been a huge goal of mine this yr. Confusing a lot of ppl along the way. Not sry.

    Anxiety was brutal today. Been awhile too. Still trying to linger around & disrupt ones sleep but I shall not let it. Feeling bad I had to call out of work due to missing more than your average worker. If I was my boss, I'd be upset too... some what.

    Mind is wandering. Trying to figure out if I packed enough warm clothes due to going to a cooler city. Packed enough water & snacks for the road. Will gas stations be open due to the holiday. Roadtrip mind wanders will always be there. Gotta work around em.

    Trying to just breath & relax my mind due to a lingering headache. Knowing everything will be just fine. It always is.

    ..... & THAT'S what's on my mind. Thank you for reading this. You may go back to your regularly scheduled program!

    #Anxiety #Depression #Insomnia #Migraines #Trauma #GAD #Healing #CheckInWithMe #TheMighty #Therapy #Thoughts

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    If a distraction is what you need right now, how can you pass the time?

    The holiday season’s upon us and grief can be especially loud this time of year, so sometimes you just need to get their mind off things. If it’s a distraction you need, how can you pass the time?

    💌 P.S. Sending extra love to everyone. Know that your best is good enough. It’s OK to do what feels best for you, even if that means tuning out the world around you for a bit (or even a while).

    #Grief #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Healing #Suicide #CheckInWithMe


    Learn to shout from your prison door, “Can someone get me out of here?” You might be surprised to hear someone say to you that the door is not locked and that you are free to leave anytime you choose.

    #Depression #MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Healing


    BLESSINGS-Laura Story

    We pray for blessings
    We pray for peace
    Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
    We pray for healing, for prosperity
    We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
    And all the while, You hear each spoken need
    Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things
    'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops?
    What if Your healing comes through tears?
    What if a thousand sleepless nights
    Are what it takes to know You're near?
    And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?
    We pray for wisdom
    Your voice to hear
    And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
    We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
    As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
    And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
    And long that we'd have faith to believe
    'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops?
    What if Your healing comes through tears?
    And what if the thousand sleepless nights
    Are what it takes to know You're near?
    And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?
    When friends betray us
    And when darkness seems to win
    We know that pain reminds this heart
    That this is not, this is not our home
    It's not our home
    'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops?
    What if Your healing comes through tears?
    And what if the thousand sleepless nights
    Are what it takes to know You're near?
    What if my greatest disappointments
    Or the aching of this life
    Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
    And what if trials of this life
    The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
    Are Your mercies in disguise?
    #Healing #Hope


    Gentle Reminder: On Self-Love and being Loved by Others

    I've done a lot of talking today with therapy and other things. I keep receiving a resounding message: Be gentle with yourself and show yourself some grace. You survived things that you thought you couldn't. And while I have heard this message over and over again I never quite believed it. But I wanted to share my own story of self-love and on finding love. I am still on the journey to complete self-love but I am slowly getting there. I have put boundaries in place that protect my mental and physical health. I do things that I enjoy (and try to not feel guilty about it). I try to work on gaining more self-respect (which takes time). But even taking those steps show that I do love myself. I love myself enough to improve and heal from years of abuse. However self-love does not only pertain to abuse survivors, anyone can love themselves. Like many people, I've been through all kinds of relationships. Some okay and some not okay. I am happy and thankful to say that I have finally found my one. He loves me with a tenacity that I never thought was possible. He has helped me heal tremendously. More than any therapy ever could. The sweet way he talks about me and to me often brings me to tears because I never had anyone talk about me that way before. So it is possible to find love and happiness and trust me, it took time. So be gentle with yourself. Pat yourself on the back. In time, you will heal and find love and happiness with whoever or whatever that may be. Show yourself some grace and continue on my warrior friends. It will all be okay in time. Healing is messy but it can also be beautiful. You'll learn a lot, just like I did. Remember: You can thrive despite what happened. You are not what was done to you but who you choose to become:) Hugs.

    #PTSD #Love #Abuse #Healing #Relationships

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    What is something new you’ve learned or are coming to realize as you navigate grief?

    Grief isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience and whether we’re ready for it or not, we learn so much — in how we handle loss, how others navigate it, and also about the people and experiences we are grieving.

    🌸 Sending you a million and one Mighty hugs if you’re finding today especially hard. We’re here with you on that journey 💌.

    #Grief #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Healing #Suicide #CheckInWithMe


    What is at the top of the mountain?

    Where do you go once you're there?

    Once you've made it to the top of the mountain and what you expected to be elation is replaced with confusion?

    The top of the mountain is foreign.

    We all hope, climb, fall- over and over just praying we can hold stamina for the next

    But what about when you make it?

    What is really there, at the top of that mountain in your mind?

    I'm nearly there and the mountain is desolate. Nothing I'm familiar with remains.

    Is this where we fall or is this where we muster up all of the absolute fight we have to live a life surrounded by those who cannot make the climb?

    And what about the doubt, fear, pain? Does it disappear, dissipate, or remain for eternity?

    I guess there's only one way to find out?