I just had a seizure the yesterday in a Walmart parking lot beside my car with my three year old and three month old in the alone. Here what’s been happening lately...
Sometimes when I’m here physically I’m really not mentally or spiritually here...
sometimes reality and time seem nonexistent...
sometimes the thought of time and reality scare me when I’m in the state I am in...
this was the best way I could express how it feels like being me most of the time...
I don’t like it. I hate it. I hate that I become so numb to everything, thoughts, feelings, emotions, touching, talking... it all seems like to much to handle. I want to sit in a room with nothing but a notebook and a pencil and never stop drawing the things I think about, the things I feel.
The thought of even doing that makes me feel like the world is watching me...
I just want it all to stop. I want to be normal... but I guess this is as normal as I will ever be... and I just have to live and be ok with...
For now... I’ll keep my hope in brighter days to come... ⛅️🌟❤️ #CPTSD #PsychogenicNonepilepticSeizures #imnotok