notalone

Ever since I was hired at my current job in February of 2023, I have been trying to find new work. It has been an #extreme #struggle for me to find #Work . I feel like I am drowning in a sea of applications for jobs. Some of them go noticed some of them go unnoticed and are #Forgotten .

I have been #working hard to try to find the perfect job for me. I have bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, and often suffer with panic attacks. I often have agoraphobia, the fear of going out places and leaving my house. Unfortunately this is a part of my life that I have had to do with for a while.

I have struggled because financially things are so expensive in our #Economy . I feel like ever since the pandemic of 2020 everybody decided to raise their prices once everybody started to go back into work and normal life. Why?

I wanted to know what kind of situations you were facing. Are you a person who is #struggling to find a job too?

Please let me know that I'm #notalone

Suicide Awareness #notalone #Anxiety #Depression #ChildLoss

I’m not writing this for sympathy.
I’m not looking for pity.
Nor do I want people feeling sorry for me.
So why am I writing it?
Well, I’m writing it because I’ve found myself sliding into the downward spiral that sneaks up on us when we are living with Depression. It’s a spiral that anyone who has battled a mental health condition will know all too well.
First you start feeling sad;
then you start feeling bad for feeling sad;
then you start feeling worried about feeling bad for feeling sad;
then you start feeling guilty about feeling worried about feeling bad for feeling sad;
then you start feeling ashamed about feeling guilty about feeling worried about feeling bad for feel sad.
And so the cycle begins and before you know it you feel like you are being dragged into an uncontrollable spiral that feels impossible to escape from.
Unfortunately, when you’re in the midst of this vicious spiral, what is almost impossible to see is that there is a way to escape this torturous cycle - it’s in the caring hand of a parent, it’s in the loving arms of a soulmate, it’s in the courageous moment when you reach out to seek support by saying 3 simple words - “I need help.”

#Depression #ChronicDepression #BipolarDepression #MentalHealth #MensMentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealthStigma #MentalHealthResources #MentalIllnessAwarenessWeek #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #ItsOkNotToBeOk #notalone #mentalhealthmatters

This is exactly what I, and countless others, do everyday - we put up a ‘public persona’ to hide what we’re truly going through. We pretend that we aren’t: in #AGONY or #depressed or #exhausted or #anxious . We pretend because we are #scared of how others would treat us if they really know what we were going through. The thing is though, by pretending we are something we’re not, we are giving ourselves more #Stress but also denying someone the opportunity to help us deal with the things that are really going on in our lives.
#itsokaynottobeokay #itsoktoneedhelp #ChronicIllness #chronicillnessawareness #ChronicPain #chronicpainawareness #mentalhealthmatters #MentalHealth #MensMentalHealth #CollegeMentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Disability #IntellectualDisability #DevelopmentalDisability #InvisibleDisability #disabilityawareness #invisibleillnessawareness #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #FND #FNDAwareness #JointHypermobilitySyndrome #ChronicMigraineSyndrome #ChronicVestibularMigraine #HemiplegicMigraine #Migraine #BipolarDepression #ChronicDepression #Depression #ChronicFatigue #Anxiety #SensoryProcessingDisorder #BrainFog #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #notalone #BeYourself

Hello Everyone.
I hope you all have a safe a wonderful #Thanksgiving . Even if you celebrate at a table for 1, just know that you're not #alone ! There are people like me who exist who share thoughts and prayers with you as we kick off the season.

#LGBTQIA +
#Friends
#Holidays
#notalone

The important thing to remember is getting back up

I am trying to live with a mind that's constantly high or low; with no in betweens! Sometimes it's hard to face myself. Sometimes it's just hard to live, period.

I wake up to fight the same demons that I fought yesterday; it's a daily struggle! I'm just trying to live in this world but I must admit that these suicidal thoughts paralize me sometimes.

I know that on a physical level I'm alive but on an emotional level I feel dead inside like I am ready to collapse because I'm drowning in my sorrow and pain. . . .

Being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is very hard to accept because people judge you and try to make you feel like you're not normal; in reality normal doesn't exist anyway.

Having BPD and dealing with such intense emotions and struggling to even know who you are sometimes can make one feel hopeless honestly speaking but as a suicide attempt survivor I am not going to give up this fight!

Yes; trying to live with BPD is extremely difficult but I know I am not alone. I know I survived for a bigger purpose than myself. I know that I am more than my diagnosis. My identity is not defined by my mental illness.

I am trying to live, to do better, to survive, to have hope, to love again, to dream again, to fight, to be strong, and be brave in this life.

Because as long as I am breathing, there is life in me and that means there is purpose in me and I will never give up on that and neither should you.

We can fight this. We're in this together!

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Trying #Suicide #SuicideAwareness #SuicidePrevention #Life #SuicidalThoughts #youmatter #fight #notalone #keepfighting #NeverGiveUp #Pain #sorrow #despair #Depression #BPD

How do I put into words what it is that I am feeling right now? I am confused and wishing I could be just neutral.

I went shopping a little while ago, and on my way home my husband called me. He told me I should not have went shopping and spent money. I bought him some things for father's day and when I mentioned I got him some things, he became upset. It is because I don't have a job. He was upset with me about us having one income and going shopping.

He told me to not put up roadblocks into me finding a job, or doing what it is that I want to do. Professionalism is not something that comes easy for me, and with my mental health issues it's harder than that of a person without them. It is not an excuse to stay where I am, but it does not make it as easy as someone else's level of difficulty. I know everyone experiences difficulties. I swear it will be OK. I just have to find something that I love to do and go for it.

Today is a day of mixed emotions. It's driving me nuts... But it's something that I have to deal with. I am hoping for a better tomorrow since today is a Mix of a Mess and a Blessing.

Take Care.

#Love #Trying #iamhere #sad #happy #MixedMood #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #jobless #lonely #notalone #up &Down #PanicAttack #PanicDisorder #Crazy #Wild #calm #confused #shoppingaddiction #Mourning #grieving #Grief #FathersDay #dowhatyoulove #lovewhatyoudo #Loveislove #PrideMonth #Trying #doing