Hello Everyone.
I hope you all have a safe a wonderful #Thanksgiving . Even if you celebrate at a table for 1, just know that you're not #alone ! There are people like me who exist who share thoughts and prayers with you as we kick off the season.
10 reactions •
2 comments
I am trying to live with a mind that's constantly high or low; with no in betweens! Sometimes it's hard to face myself. Sometimes it's just hard to live, period.
I wake up to fight the same demons that I fought yesterday; it's a daily struggle! I'm just trying to live in this world but I must admit that these suicidal thoughts paralize me sometimes.
I know that on a physical level I'm alive but on an emotional level I feel dead inside like I am ready to collapse because I'm drowning in my sorrow and pain. . . .
Being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is very hard to accept because people judge you and try to make you feel like you're not normal; in reality normal doesn't exist anyway.
Having BPD and dealing with such intense emotions and struggling to even know who you are sometimes can make one feel hopeless honestly speaking but as a suicide attempt survivor I am not going to give up this fight!
Yes; trying to live with BPD is extremely difficult but I know I am not alone. I know I survived for a bigger purpose than myself. I know that I am more than my diagnosis. My identity is not defined by my mental illness.
I am trying to live, to do better, to survive, to have hope, to love again, to dream again, to fight, to be strong, and be brave in this life.
Because as long as I am breathing, there is life in me and that means there is purpose in me and I will never give up on that and neither should you.
We can fight this. We're in this together!
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Trying #Suicide #SuicideAwareness #SuicidePrevention #Life #SuicidalThoughts #youmatter #fight #notalone #keepfighting #NeverGiveUp #Pain #sorrow #despair #Depression #BPD
How do I put into words what it is that I am feeling right now? I am confused and wishing I could be just neutral.
I went shopping a little while ago, and on my way home my husband called me. He told me I should not have went shopping and spent money. I bought him some things for father's day and when I mentioned I got him some things, he became upset. It is because I don't have a job. He was upset with me about us having one income and going shopping.
He told me to not put up roadblocks into me finding a job, or doing what it is that I want to do. Professionalism is not something that comes easy for me, and with my mental health issues it's harder than that of a person without them. It is not an excuse to stay where I am, but it does not make it as easy as someone else's level of difficulty. I know everyone experiences difficulties. I swear it will be OK. I just have to find something that I love to do and go for it.
Today is a day of mixed emotions. It's driving me nuts... But it's something that I have to deal with. I am hoping for a better tomorrow since today is a Mix of a Mess and a Blessing.
Take Care.
#Love #Trying #iamhere #sad #happy #MixedMood #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #jobless #lonely #notalone #up &Down #PanicAttack #PanicDisorder #Crazy #Wild #calm #confused #shoppingaddiction #Mourning #grieving #Grief #FathersDay #dowhatyoulove #lovewhatyoudo #Loveislove #PrideMonth #Trying #doing
Having someone who loves us even on our worst days when we can't love ourselves is one of the biggest blessings in our lifetimes. #BipolarDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Agoraphobia #notalone #betterdays
Good Mornin loves, I hope your day is filled with happiness, love, and I wish you all the best. Know that you are loved. 💜❤️🥰
#Happyvalentinesday #Goodmorning #crave #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Migraine #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Endometriosis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Stress #Goodenough #warrior #newnormal #notalone
Hey everyone, just wanted to say hey, and see how everyone is doing..I know there are good days and bad, but It’s nice to know we can be here for each other and don’t have to listen to anyone say that they don’t know how to help. When all that is wanted is for someone to actually listen, be there, support, and comfort you.… I’m 24, my friends and family normally called me the CEO of goofiness, but as of 3 years ago, they (or what is left of them) call me the queen of chronic illness. Personally I liked the CEO of goofiness a lot better. But I miss that me, ya know? I try to be her.. but the new me always takes over. It’s a lot some days, and others I fight till there is literally nothing left.. when it all started I came up with a new hashtag and even created a Facebook page but I no longer use Facebook because it was a lot on my mental health. The New Normal I called it. Because that’s what this is, there is no… going back.. only forward.. sorry to talk your ears off.. I’ll let you get back to your day. Just know you’re cared for, you’re more than enough, don’t ever let it tell you otherwise… if you’re just entering The New Normal, or you’ve been here a while… thanks for coming.
#thenewnormal #chronicilness #ChronicPain #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Endometriosis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #notalone #ChronicMigraineSyndrome #ChronicFatigue #earlymenopause
I have learned in the past 20 years which people in my life are willing to learn, support and fight alongside me through the bad times and which ones won’t. My first chronic# illness diagnosis was in 1995, the last one was 2021. Somewhere in between, I became disabled. You would think that a vast amount of time between illnesses would make things easier but unfortunately that is not the case.
I have experienced more pain than I ever imagined or would want to, limitations of things I can no longer do and the undeniable lack of energy and fatigue on any given day. My social life has become non-existent, my interests have waned, and my talents have fallen to the waste side. Despite these things, I have slowly adapted, accomplishing tasks in new and different ways. Frustration, anger and tears reared their ugly head on many occasions as everyone around me either refused to accept these limitations or insinuated that I was faking or lying…. even doctors.
Support and love took time to show itself. I realized that family and friends were in the same stages of grief as I was and took a while to come to terms with the new me. I‘ve come to recognize that I am not alone….even though I am the one with the diagnosis, it affects everyone around me. I watch in wonder now as those who were hard pressed to accept my illnesses, now go out of their way to assist me, show support and allow me to lean on them when I need it, all without hesitation.
I am attempting to change my perspective on disability and chronic illness from fear and anxiety to a new mindset with a focus on building better relationships as well as allow myself to acknowledge that I am not in this alone.
Sometimes it feels like we are running so fast we can't catch up to ourselves. Kind of like when you see the video is of a vehicle sliding on the ice and the back of the vehicle spinning around to the front out of control.
There was a time when I was 15 years old I went on holidays with my aunt and uncle into the mountains of British Columbia. we were climbing up a mountain, there is a formation of Spires or pointy rocks that were sticking out and you could go around these but there is a drop off about 6 feet and I decided to jump it. I did not realize what a bad idea this was until I was running down the mountain and I felt like my legs were just touched the mountain and jerked behind me I was going so fast. Eventually I just kind of sat down and started grabbing onto whatever I could and I pulled the tree right out small tree but nonetheless I pulled the tree right out and grabbed onto another small tree and eventually stopped myself and I was so scared I couldn't move. Things were spinning out of control so fast in my mind and my body wouldn't move, it was like I was paralyzed. I went for a moving so fast to not being able to move at all. That was many moons ago. I can still feel that tingly feeling inside of me from that exact same day. It changed my mental health, it changed my view of fear, a fear that never left.
Sometimes when life gets like that we just need to slow down. We need to learn to recognize that life is spinning out of control sometimes and we are maybe running too fast for what we are capable of in this season. Life isn't a race, we are all different, on a different journey, at a different speed. So going forward let's try let's try real hard to slow our pace slower life down to something we can handle, something we can manage, something that doesn't put us in a box where we're more likely to spiral. There is no need to crash land every time things get running out of control every time we struggle every time our mental health waivers which it will. There's no need to hurt ourselves, there's no need to take unnecessary jumps, but don't be afraid to take the necessary jumps or the necessary steps.
Each of us are on our own mental health journey unique interesting beautiful, how cool would it be if we could learn from each other instead of comparing or feeling less than, to be encouraged to lifted up from others stories and victories. To use others journeys as a form of accountability to our own mental health journey back to health. Learn, adapt, be open to change, and you/I will change. Fact.
#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Healing #change #beardformentalhealth #gethealthy #stayhealthy #restored #newperson #notalone #Trauma #PTSD #Bettertogether
Latest
