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Does anyone else forget that they’re a person and that there will be consequences to actions?
Recently I’ve met a bunch of new friends a city away from me, have been hanging out with them a lot, you know the deal. One of them is my new best friend, and one of them is my boyfriend. I’ve literally stolen my best friends personality for whenever I go over there. I ended up doing it without even realizing, which is what happens most of the time when I mirror someone. I also ended up dating someone (mostly because they were giving me attention) and now I’m in a relationship I just jumped into. These are literally my closest friends now and they don’t really even know me because I act as a different person?? I don’t even know what my original personality is in the first place but, I had forgotten that everything I was doing was real. Like, I’m dating someone now who knows this one version of me. I have all these friends who just experience me… “acting”? Then I go home after visiting them for a couple days and I just feel so empty. It’s like that was my life, just doing whatever fun new thing. Sitting at home feeling like “was that even real?”, “I feel so fake”, “I forgot I was a person and that I would eventually come back to my crappy home life”. I just feel so strange. When I’m there I also will literally do whatever the f*%# I want. Have s3x with random people (not now cuz I have a bf but I literally almost did because for some reason I thought it wouldn’t matter????), drink a lot, literally blow all of my money. I don’t know does anyone else get this way? Can anyone put this into words better than I can?
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Reckless
