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    Let The Bad Times Roll

    “The good times hide and so do I

    Out of my control I dig a hole

    If that's all the time that you got

    Then I'd rather not waste my life on hold

    I'm gonna let the bad times roll.”

    ~Paul Westerberg

    I love the movie Catch & Release because a) Jen Gardner, b) Jen Gardner, and c) it’s ultimately a feel good movie that touches on some heavy issues like death, depression, and how family should be defined.

    **SPOILER ALERT**

    Family is simply who and what WE choose to make for ourselves. In my experience, it is most often those least deserving of our trust who would try convince you otherwise.

    But, back to the movie…

    I discovered this song from the soundtrack and thought it would make for an apt Chronic Illness Anthem. Because as much as I’d like to trade in my body for an upgrade, I would not give up the wisdom being ill has bestowed upon me.

    Like knowing who is worthy of being called my family. And that sometimes, despite our hopes and best efforts, we just have to let the bad times roll—and not live our lives on hold.

    What are your Spoonie Anthem contenders?

    #Music #MightyMoment  #MightyMoment #musicsoothesthesoul   #MusicIsSavingMyLife #Movies  #Depression  #Death  #ChronicIllness #Spoonie #anthem

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    Life can be short, life can be fragile and fleeting, yet life is a blessing, and those whose lives are taken from us leave us memories that cannot die

    I just heard some difficult news. A dear friend who I know has been struggling fighting serious health problems just told me they have a limited time left to live. It has reminded me how precious life is, how beautiful life is, how short lives can be, how fleeting our good health can be and how unfair life can be. As loved ones become ill and their health diminishes those of us close to them can feel helpless and just wish there was something we could do to lessen their pain, to alleviate their suffering, to concoct some sort of magic potion, a panacea to bring them back to good health and lengthen their lives back to that we once thought they had left.

    But there is often nothing we can say that will help as much as we would like, despite our wanting to make a difference there is nothing we can do to change things and turn fate around, nothing we can offer to help alleviate their pain and suffering and nothing we can offer their family and friends to help cushion the blow.

    As I heard the news of my friend’s declining health I was deeply saddened. They are young and can appear so vibrant and healthy, so strong and spirited …but I have known the truth, known their days were numbered…however I thought they had years to live, instead they just told me it is months, even weeks or days.

    I just want to give them a big, deep, comforting, loving hug … but alas, life has them hours away. Life that is so fleeting for them has us separated by space that a hug can’t travel. It's just a virtual hug that I can offer. It’s a lot, but sadly I feel like it’s not enough.

    I can only send my love and support through words. Yet I know this can make a difference. I know from first hand experience that thoughts and prayers can travel through a phone call, cyberspace and through intention and belief…but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. It just doesn’t seem fair. It seems like there is a void that cannot be filled.

    So I will keep them in my thoughts and prayers. Those words can seem hollow and often insignificant because they are shared so often that they don’t seem to mean enough anymore… but I will think about them a lot, I will pray for them, I will send my blessings that they don’t suffer, that they are not in pain, that they can enjoy every moment left in their life, that their joy and spirit will give them strength to live their remaining life to its fullest as much as they can.

    I will deeply mourn the loss of this friend, I will mourn the loss of a young life cut short, I will mourn someone I will not be able to hug… but I also know that they would want me to celebrate their life, celebrate the joy and exuberance they lived that life with, celebrate all the ways they touched others and made a difference in our lives. I will celebrate them, celebrate life … even if it can be short. I will celebrate their spirit and the memories that cannot be taken away. That part of their life is left with us all …forever!

    #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Selflove #Selfcare #PTSD #COVID19 #Migraine #Headache #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDepression #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #HIVAIDS #longtermsurvivor #RareDisease #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #Cancer #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #relief #Joy #happy #TheMighty #MightyTogether #MightyMinute #mentalhealthwarrior #Grief #LossOfAParent #LossOfAChild #ChildLoss #Death #Mourning #sad #worry #Fear

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    Horrendous nights and the fragility of life…

    I just returned from my friends house late last night. Her friend Pete was an alcoholic, and a diabetic. I don’t know medically what happened.? He was 74, he died a month shy of his 75th B’day. Perhaps he had a heart attack? Perhaps he had his meds and was drinking (as he did every night) and the two things together killed him? It was just a very bizarre situation.
    My friend went to take a friend to work. She came home and found thd room mate Pete, passed out on a small book case in the living room. She thought he was drunk, and passed out! If was a normal occurrence for her to see him like that. She tried to revive him. She couldn’t get him up after shaking him etc…She tried to get him up! The paramedics came. They worked on him 40 to 45 minutes trying to revive him. Pete died! I came home after someone came from the funeral home came to take Pete. Originally, the coroner or medical examiner was to come. I guess the officers and paramedics decided he died of natural causes? So now I’m worried, concerned for my friend, who’s a senior and has no way of paying her own rent..For 9 years she’s been living with Pete, in a platonic relationship. I think they had a codependency going because of their age and medical stuff.? I don’t know what to do for my friend. I will have to research. She’s still working, now she has his two dogs, a cat, and a love bird…The situation is also bad because they were horders. I tried for several years to help set her up in a rental, her own place. She kept saying she was going to go, yet she didn’t! This man was an alcoholic.It’s just a mess..#Insomnia #Addiction #Death

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    Code Blue #Depression #Anxiety #Emergency #Death #Surgery #Hope #PTSD #MentalHealth

    It’s been a momentous day. I was scheduled for the second surgery this morning when my blood pressure suddenly dropped, my eyes apparently rolled back into my head but before I lost consciousness I heard a nurse yell code blue and yelling she needed help. I am not if it was fortunate or unfortunate but My Wife and Daughter were in the room. They told me a few minutes ago there were in excess of 12 people in the room and they were all focused on their one task.

    I came conscious a few times but not enough to fully comprehend what was happening. I knew it was very serious because I heard them say I had lost many litres of blood and they were charging cardiac paddles.

    After an hour apparently I was stable enough to go to theatre for the second surgery. The very good news is there was only a small piece of leg tissue that has died and had to be cut off.

    I have wounds from knee to ankle that they have not been closed yet. A plastic surgeon does that in 3 days to ensure they don’t close any infection in. Then surgery 4 and 5 to do the other side of the leg.

    My family doesn’t know that I was aware about the code blue. I won’t tell them. It must have been terrifying for them. I wasn’t bothered. I didn’t want to die like that, it would have been awful for them but dying doesn’t bother me. I am in no pain because of IV pain medication. I am so grateful for doctors who were not only very skilled but so caring.

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    Seasons of Me

    At the foothills, torn from a fostering hearth

    Bending, Giving

    Thanks

    As I forsake all

    Youth

    Lust in Creation

    Dreams move

    Through

    Rich Forces

    Brushed

    From my soul

    Across canvas

    Destined

    Offspring

    My Heir

    To Nurture

    Sand

    Stone

    Bone

    Dirt

    Blessed Clouds

    Accept

    Blossoms

    Of Death

    Nurture

    Nature

    Wind Swept Hair

    Blankets of Time

    Sunsets

    Upon tin roofs

    I Trust

    Forest's

    Lush,

    Heavy skies

    Falling Stars

    The Unseen

    Love Gives

    Strength

    No Sacrifice

    Wailing Woman

    Never Lay down

    Reveal visions

    Brilliance

    Is

    Being You

    Resurrect

    Peace

    Pride

    Boundaries

    Ne'r

    Sacrifice

    Sans

    Cause.

    Open up

    Closeted Dreams

    Be.

    Being.

    Treasure

    Shineablaze

    Life

    Is the Color

    Of

    Living

    In

    The NOW.

    #Aging ,#seasonsoftime ,#womanhood ,#Nature ,#Youth ,#Death ,#Love #dreams ,#Now

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    Can we ever accept death?#Death

    I've just found out a lecturer of mine died a few years a go. I haven't seen him for 20 years and we weren't close obviously. But not only was he a great teacher he was so kind when I was ill at University and needed time off, understanding about late assignments, even guiding me on forms to fill out for the University. Things like this I remember forever because a different response could have affected my life so badly. The truly sad thing is that he killed himself. Its always the people who care and help others that see no other way. I've lost several people in the past few years, none of them from suicide but all too young and all the nicest people I've met. Even if I haven't spoken to someone for so long it still cuts.#Death

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    Long covid is killing me….

    I just wish people wouldn’t blow me off. Or act like my feelings are too big. Or get so uncomfortable when I try express what I am going through that they get off the phone or rush the conversation. I get it’s uncomfortable, unpleasant, scary, taboo. Whatever word you want. But it is happening and it is happening to me. I need my people. They act like they can’t handle it but what about me? They may say sound selfish. But sorry your feelings are uncomfortable but I am planning my funeral so my parents know my wishes should that happen. Like get a backbone and be there!

    Friend: some people can’t handle death… they can’t comprehend it.

    I can’t either so it is frustrating when trying to process and people are like I don’t this well. Well fuck you! I need my people. That is my biggest fear about dying. Not having my people, being without my twin, who will comfort mom who is having a nervous break down, who will take care of dad while he is aging, who will be there to hug me in the darkness? And the darkness isn’t here yet and I am already alone…

    #Gastroperasis #COVID #longcovid #longhauler #Stroke #Dystonia #Seizures #tubie #PegTube #StarvingToDeath #IronDisorder #ImmuneDeficient #Death #FinalWishes #darkness #BigFeelings #TooBig #iamvalid #valid #LeftBehind #DoNoLeave #Twin

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    #TravelTips Options for comfort items to take while traveling? #WeightedBlankets #Comfort #Sleep

    I will probably need to travel within the next few day. My grandfather is not doing well #Death #Grief .
    I normaly sleep with a 20 pound #WeightedBlankets , but will not be able to take that with me.
    Does anyone have ideas for something that I can take/ have delivered to where I’m traveling, either to mimic a weighted blanket, or to help me sleep ( not pills)? Thanks!
    #help #Selfcare #Selfsoothing

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    Death of my psychiatrist

    I have been on antidepressant meds for thirteen years, and for the first twelve they were prescribed by my general practitioner. About nine months ago, I spent two weeks in a partial hospitalization program, and when I left I finally had a relationship with a psychiatrist. (A nurse practitioner to be precise, but either way she was a specialist.) In my time meeting with her, we haven’t made any changes to my meds, but it was very comforting to know I was in the care of an expert.

    I just got a call today from her office that she died unexpectedly last night. She was middle aged…probably about my age. Her office is at a major hospital network in my area, so I’m sure I’ll be taken care of by someone else. But it’s really strange. I’m not sure how I feel — it’s not really grief, but it’s just … sad and strange.

    #Depression #Death