ReliefPlease

So. I had a migraine for 23 days. Went away. And the mf is back. So with a muscle relaxant, Xanax, and a Benadryl, this mother of dragons is hopefully, finally, going to get some rest. I told my husband I was having thoughts about self harm tonight, and he told me basically to get a hobby and get my stuff together because it’s affecting my life and my daughter now. Safe space, gone. I went to my parents for a couple days over the weekend, and my dad told me to get it together and go back and deal with my stuff. Safe space, gone. My best friends live way out of town, and I’m a constant mess so I don’t want to be another burden. Safe space, gone. So, yet again, I’m back in isolation, and the deeper and deeper we go. You’re exactly right husband. This is not fair to our daughter. But damnit. She is my world. And I am doing everything I can to make sure her world is safe, and open to her no matter the cost to me. So cut me some frikkin slack. I am exhausted. I am in pain. I am depressed. I am alone. I am grieving. I am trying to work through major abuse. I have multiple events that have caused a cascade of ptsd. So yea. I’m stronger than you can possibly imagine. You have no idea the strength it takes to be me. Stop judging what you don’t understand, and listen. I hope I sleep tonight. #exhausted #Depression #Migraine #Selfharm #ReliefPlease #PTSD #Ihatebeingvulnerable