mentalhealthcheck

It's been a month since I was diagnosed with #PanicDisorder and #Depression . I still have "those days" but not as worse as before. I'm on medication and I also go to therapy to help me cope.

On my last check-up, I told my doctor how surprising it was for me to feel calmer and have a clearer mind. I don't want to take meds forever, but if it means managing my day-to-day without experiencing panic and pain, I'd do it.

How are you coping?

#MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #mentalhealthcheck

It's a simple question that's not always simple to answer, but I want you to genuinely think about it; How are YOU?

How many spoons do you have today and how do you plan on using them?

Are you doing at least one thing for your health, one thing for your surroundings, and one thing special for you?

For instance, today I've taken my meds and plan to shower today, I put up laundry, and I made myself coffee. All of which, on a bad day, I can't do.

So, that brings me back to my original question: How are YOU?

#MentalHealth #checkin #mentalhealthcheck #spoons #youmatter

I’m sick of feeling so drained all the time. I want to be so much more. But I can’t stop myself thinking of the high. The addiction is hard. I want to stop, but I don’t. I want more. And I know if I could get anything else, I would. The want to drink is unreal. But what would that cause, more hurt. I feel like I’ve failed everyone on a daily basis. And I can’t stop. I don’t think people realise how close to the edge I am. But even having that thought makes me feel selfish for wanting people to think about me. I can’t stop the hurt. I just try to survive each day.

So we have an alter who has never used a body or seen this world. She's trying to figure all of this out and we are doing our best to help her. She decided to leave us video messages on our laptop. It Is so impressive how she figured it out ❤💜 So I, Thamer, was talking to some friends about the experience of watching your body... not acting how you know it to act. As the host, it was both amazing and really... Unsettling. Jane, Tabitha and Little T are all able to sense how I feel and were pretty understanding. They gave me space.
Well, one of our friends (who has crossed boundaries before, said some highly racist comments and has been a trigger for us before) decides to ask if he can watch our new alters video. Our immediate response was HELL NO. I felt really... not violated but so uncomfortable. The alters got very upset. Of the 9 of us, 7 fronted. We self harmed. We were up for hours. We were up so early...
The alters feel like our friend doesn't respect them. Like they're... objects for show and tell or on display to watch and analyze. Like they're less than human, like monsters.... they really are not doing well.
To make matters EVEN WORSE I had asked this person to talk to the rest of our family about our DID and our alters. Because I, Thamer, don't really know how to explain it. Nor do we, collectively, feel comfortable sitting everyone down and explaining. We had sent videos and articles and resources to our support circle. We had explained it the best we can. Our friend agreed to sit the family down and have that initial talk for us.
So, after get upset at the initial question our friend goes 'i don't really understand and I'm scared for you Thamer. You are my biggest secret right now. I don't even tell my wife about what's going on with you.' Which the alters took as... he's scared of them and they're something to be afraid of or ashamed of... He then goes on to say, if you're so proud of your collective that's great. You can explain to people then.
....
So I, Thamer, am feeling so betrayed. Like I have to somehow prove myself to my family and friends. The alters are all reeling and feeling like monsters... to be inspected, analyzed, watched... to appease curiosity. And now they feel like they're something to be ashamed of.
My heart breaks for them... i feel so heavy and hurt. We've self harmed. We don't want to eat. Or do much of anything. One of our biggest self harmers and suicidal alters is close to the front...
How do we comfort ourselves? How do we work on undoing this harm to our system? What do we do... we are so hurt and lost. #MentalHealth #mentalhealthcheck #mentalhealthmonday #Anxiety #Depression #dissociativedisorders #DissociationDisorders #Dissociation #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #alters #Selfharm #self-doubt #help

After coming to realize that I do have abandonment issues, I feel that maybe there is a little bit more under the surface of why I do the things I do and why I feel the way that I feel. I did see a professional doctor for my mental health before, but I feel like I may need to get myself checked again. There is a history of mental illness on my mother’s side of the family and I’ve always felt that there was a possibility that I would end up with some form of mental illness. I do experience depression, but I do feel a need to dig deeper because I think that there’s more to it than that. #Depression #MentalHealth #familyhistory #mentalillnesses #mentalhealthcheck #FearOfAbandonment

Ah, the holidays: a time to connect with the people who matter to you, take some time for self-care, and fill your belly with all your favorite treats. For as much as we all hope for a holiday experience fit for a Hallmark movie, the truth is the holidays can be really painful for a lot of folks. And, we're here to help.

This year, we’re asking you to bring us home to help you through all of your holiday stress, because 741741 is here to help you with any crisis, anytime. And—surprise—if you have a phone, you’re bringing us home anyway!

If you need mental health support during the holiday season, text HOME to 741741.

#mentalhealthcheck #MentalHealth #homefortheholidays

Here we are on the morning of a new week. I have to be at work in an hour and i can’t seem to pull myself from my bed. i can’t seem to want to get up from what feels like the only safe place i have these days. i can’t seem to want to go to work and be patronized for every little thing i do. i can’t seem to want to get up and live my life the way i use to. i hate starting a new week because i never know how my brain will decide to act this week. will i be manic and bother everyone at work or will i be depressed and not say a word to anyone all week. will i find the courage to ask for help this week or will i continue to be caught up in what’s going on in my head. i love my job, don’t get my wrong but sometimes i feel like it’s the only thing that keeps me going, which maybe is a good thing. my boss knows about my mental health and knows if i don’t come into work she needs to come check on me. i don’t think she fully understands but it’s good to know i have her support. anyways, here we go, the start of a new week. let’s see how it goes. #BipolarDisorder #SafeSpace #Work #mentalhealthcheck