#Psychosis /psychotic disorders are so cruel; it feels like you're being put on display in the pitch darkness whilst the people you can't see on the outside express their concerns about your "strange" or "concerning" behaviour, telling you that you need help over and over again. You nod and agree like an obedient puppy although you aren't sure that the #silhouettes in front of you are telling the truth, you feel like you can't trust them and you can't trust yourself either. You become convinced that you're at the centre of a massive conspiracy...
That they were lying to you after all, that you can't possibly do what they say you do, you can't be "psychotic" and that they are just making it up for their own advantages. You feel blind and helpless but scared and trapped at the same time. It's a constant battle with your #Senses .
You realise for a while that you can't trust your senses, that you have to rely on other people to "correct" your perception of reality and eventually you begin to envy them. This exacerbates the feelings of losing control, so you decide to regain that control by stopping your #treatment plan/medication and the thrill of this fills in that #empty space. You finally feel like you are the same as everyone else, that you aren't #mentally ill at all, that you belong.
Until the cycle starts all over again.