I've been through hell
I'm a 6x suicide survivor it occurred approximately once every 2 years from the age of twenty. I used weed to cope with things however my body cant handle the withdrawals and that causes psychosis. in the 5 times that I went into psychosis I ruled out dehydration, caffeine, inadequate rest and the product being laced. I finally accept that it doesn't agree with me, however I feel like the damage is done and I hope my brain can heal from all the trauma. I have severe disassociation, however my long term memory is unimpaired - my brain is just kind of tuned out in the present most of the time, it's a natural trauma response. My last breakdown was a few months back. I would love to become a mental healthcare advocate and share my story but there isn't many places where that is allowed.