sobroken

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physical pain

I have bipolar 2 disorder, raging codependency, and chemical addiction (sober now). I am drawn to men with active alcoholism, narcissists, and borderlines. The love of my life is a borderline and the back and forth is killing me. On a rebound from him, I wound up with a narcissist who used me for money. My BPD love rescued me from him. I have been moving for months. I am exhausted and bankrupt in every way. My #Everythinghurts #unstable #sobroken

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#thespecial18thbirthday ..

My thought...
My thought's?
She would be 18.
I daydream about the graduation hug.
I know she didn't want to be like me, have my problems with anxiety and depression.
I have never held that against her..
But I'm angry! I miss her, I miss her laugh, her beautiful smile. I mostly miss when she would sing to me. She would be 18 in a few day's
My heart is gonna explode.
I am spending her birthday thanking firefighters and first responders.
With cupcakes and stories about how wonderful she was.
Express gratitude for all the ones who weren't able to be reached like my daughter.
So many " thank you's that didn't get said because denial and anger got in the way.
#sobroken
#CheckInWithMe