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Of All the Stupid Things

I know about PTSD my ex has it. I thought I was just having anxiety attacks until last Sunday. On the way home from visiting a family member (a 2 hr trip one-way in a very old car) my car radio started with a warning of a tornado in the area I was driving. On a major highway it starts raining really hard then ice and strong winds. This is nothing new for the Florida state it rains so hard you can't see the car in front. We all put our flashers on continued driving went into the eye then back into the outer bands of the tornado it was terrifying. I was shaking so when I got home I went straight to bed. I hate driving in the rain before this. It seems when I was a child I was in two car accidents with my parents and it was raining. I wasn't driving but I experienced it. Then when I moved to Florida I was in a very bad accident. I was helping in a pre-existing accident during a rainstorm. Car number one had thought she had pulled off of the highway when she was actually in the right lane The car behind her which was the car in front of me....all of a sudden the car in front of me the lights were gone in like a flick of a switch. I immediately yanked my wheel to the left just missed her by milliseconds went into the medin. Everything was in slow motion wheels car parts rolling around steam coming up from car engines people screaming. I ran to the first car the woman had no idea what was going on I told her to shut her car off and put her flashers on asked if she was okay she said yes. I went to the car that hit her which was the car in front of me and it was too young girls. They were both hurt. I was tending to the one in the driver's seat A young man came over I asked if he had a belt on and we put a tourniquet on the driver's leg. I didn't see her passenger right away she kept asking where is so and so. I remember going to that side of the car looking for the girl and then realizing that the young girl was face planted into the dashboard. By this time people had stopped. A woman tapped me on the shoulder and said I'll take care of this girl You go help the driver and I looked at her and she said I'm a nurse We just left the hospital my husband is over there he's calling for the ambulances. I remember walking around the front of the car and that's the last thing I remember except seeing bright lights and somebody yelling run run she's not going to stop. There was a car coming over the hill the woman was drunk and she wound up hitting the girls in the car again and me. I was told I went 20 ft into the air I landed in a ditch. I woke up I didn't have my shoes on or my socks I didn't I know where I was but I couldn't get up I kept trying I was terrified I was going to get eaten by an alligator. Would you believe I didn't have one broken bone I was covered in road rash though. So while I survived that and the home that I currently live in now has flooded every year. I never realized the connection between heavy rain and wind and PTSD with me until I drove through a tornado. It was an EF0 It did tear up mobile homes but it explains so much why I panic every time it starts raining hard. Most of my meditation tapes have water in them most of them I can't listen to. Like I say of all the stupid things to have PTSD too heavy rain. And I just found this out this week. #ADHD #Anxiety
# angioedema hives idiopathic# hiatal hernia #Pleurisy #raynaud syndrome #Shingles left eye #Shoulder bilateral impingement system #unstable lumbar spine #Bastrop syndrome #bone spurs #Cataracts #COPD #Costochondritis
# Fibromyalgia #Osteopenia #Osteoarthritis #Peripheral neuropathy #kyphosis # gerd# ptsd

4 reactions

Crawling in my skin

I woke up feeling like I was crawling in my own skin, pacing around the house, couldn't focus, negative thoughts in my head. I couldn't go back to sleep either. I tried working out a little and eating, eventually I took an adivan and feel asleep for half the day. When I woke up the second time I felt awful, worthless, tired, irritable, couldn't stop crying. Now I feel like I've wasted my day and am sad about that too. I haven't had a low like this for a while, I hate the ups and downs, feeling so #unstable and #Insecure #BipolarDisorder #Depression #Anxiety


I just want to feel stable even just for one day. I can't handle this rollercoaster anymore, so much wasted time 😶 #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #unstable


Anyone deal with feeling behind?

I feel stuck. I'm 37, I dont feel like an adult. It feels like everyone is doing a group choreographed dance, but I dont know the steps, nor do I undunderstand where I was when everyone was learning and practicing those steps.

Life keeps moving and I feel trapped in nothingness. I have no partner or children, I work and rent a room.

I get uncontrollable anxiety, and have to fight the urge to get in my car, get rid of my phone, and go live outside.

Homelessness and hiding is the solution I keep coming up with. I'm feeling unhinged.

And I'm losing ANOTHER relationship.

Is anyone else ever experiencing this?

#lost #Depression #Anxiety #Pressure #Behind #stuck #sad #unstable

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What’s Your “Tell” That You’re #depressed ?

I’m sure all of us can notice changes in our daily life that point to the fact we’re indeed depressed and out of our ‘normal swing’ of things. For me, I find that if I’m not singing or haven’t laughed in a good while, my mental health is off... not to mention the crowded mess I’ve navigated around and tolerate in my dwelling in comparison to a clean home. It is always a beautiful “aha” moment when I snap out of it and realize I’m back to feeling like myself.
What is your “tell” that you’re not well?
#Depression #Anxiety #unstable #funk


I feel like people don't take me seriously because of...

my illness.
I have depression, extreme anxiety, BPD, hallucinations and it makes me angry.
I try my hardest to act "normal" but I still feel like people kinda brush me off when I speak or have a plan for my future. I've flaked out on so much stuff but I'd still like to be encouraged. I think people are just fed up with me now... just feeling really crap lately about myself. #Depression #Anxiety #BPD #unstable #MentalHealth