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EYE ROLL..... #Anxietys #BPD #SoConfused

One of my best friends dropped me a few months back, when I needed her the most, her youngest and my youngest daughter are best friends as well. She says " you are to much for me right now, ..."
I ask her 2 months ago if her daughter could come over to play " no I dont trust your environment, but izzy is more than welcome here"... fast forward to today" can G come over to play today at your house"
We literally haven't spoken.... like not even once ...... so her daughter is here.
I so desperately want to go back to pretending that everything was grand. Back to " normal "... but I know I wasn't ok. I know it wasn't healthy. I know I wasn't happy. So I have here over.... I feel so confused.
I need to separate myself for these feelings. I want izzy to have her friends it doesn't me that I have to like the parents lol.
Do you ever miss the before you??? The before yoy before the diagnosis?? It feel like a different life.
A different person.
How come I feel "worse" and have more lows and distinct highs now AFTER my diagnosis.?? Is it because I'm more aware now???
Does this get better.??
#whoami #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #thoughtoftheday #ThisIsMe #mybrainismush #mother #Diagnosis

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Multiple diagnosis’s cause confusion

My bipolar I, ptsd and Borderline personality disorder (among others) are causing confusion on symptoms I am experiencing. I am struggling with depression and erratic mood swings with irritability, anger and mostly passive S.I. All have some very similar symptoms. This makes it hard to treat. Bipolar and Borderline can be treated much the same but ptsd is not similar in treatment. So confused I don’t know which way to go. These are by no means new diagnosis’s but I still can’t grasp what exactly is going on. Anyone else have any issues similar or ideas? #SoConfused