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My wonderful child J. has had GAD and constant panic attacks for two months. We have seen an awful neurologist and a helpful psychiatrist; he and I are in therapy. Tomorrow we visit Cortica to rule out being in the spectrum (or rule in). I love my job; I love my children, J and N. My husband tried his best to help, but I had to push him. I feel the emotional, medical, and physical burden is on me. Last night, J had an adverse side effect on a new Benzo. He hallucinated for 5-6 hours. As a consequence, my husband ruled out benzos. We are waiting for the SSRI to kick in, but it might take three more weeks. Today the whole family worked from home, no school. We are exhausted. He asks me: why me? What did I do to deserve this? I do not want children because I do not want to leave this legacy. He is nine years old. I suffer from depression and anxiety. They are under control with meds, but I a making a U-turn. I feel alone and do not know where to go from here. Thank you for reading. #GAD #Autism #SensoryIssues #exhausted #y #SSRI #Medi #Benzos #mother #NeedSupport #Children #PanicAttacks #hard #choices #needsleep

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Mother’s last wishes (warning can be triggering)

So my mom passed last week. The week before she passed we were at the Drs office as they delivered the news that my mom had a few weeks left to live. My mom brought up my oldest brother and said I know that my brother didn’t rape you.
This was not a time or place I wanted to talk about it.

My mother and I never fully talked about what occurred with my brother when I was younger. My brother on more than one occasion was inappropriate with me as a child. I talked to him for most of my adulthood. A few years back I had flashbacks of the situations. Which I can see clearly as if they were yesterday. I decided it was too difficult for me to continue to act like nothing happened.

My mother basically wanted me to forgive my brother. Without knowing fully what the situations were. So my Mother on her deathbed wanted me to forgive and makeup with my brother.

I feel guilty as my mother has passed and I know that this would have made her so happy. Idk what to do. If I do it for my mom as it was her dying wish. Or stand strong and continue to feel guilty even thou I did nothing wrong.
#Mothers #BereavedMothersDay #mother #ChildAbuse #RapeSurvivors #adolescent sexual molestation trauma #Survivor of rape and or molestation

12 reactions 5 comments
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Anxiety is making me feel so LOST, so now I'm ranting about it!

I'm fairly new to this website, but I figured if anyone could help or relate to me, it would be this page! I'm a mom of three, who has probably suffered with mental illness my whole life (just unaware of it, but I've learned so much, and continue to learn as well) and my children are my life, and even though I've made mistakes in the past I've learned that I'm not the same person I once was, because I lacked the knowledge that I now have. My problem now is, that I just feel lost! I'm sure it's the anxiety that keeps me feeling unsure, and having no clue what to do with my life! The more I try to figure it all out, the more I just feel confused and stuck! More than anything in the world, I just want to have a career (that gives me purpose) that not only financially supports us, but makes my kids proud of me! I let them down so many times by not being able to stick with a job, and I just want to feel normal, confident, ambitious, and clear minded. Lord please just tell me the steps I need to take to be able to do all of this, I've pleaded so many times, and maybe one day I'll get my answer lol! The ironic part is that I'm always so good at helping others, but can't seem to ever be able to mentally do it for myself! #Healing #anxietysucks
#mental illness #venting #mother #lost #Anxiety #Bedtime #alone #Thoughts #rant #

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× " Who Is SKADI KVITRAVN.. " × #I 'amUnique#AndILiveWithDisabilite 's

× " I'am The Kind Of Person Who Is Mysterious And Opinionated... Shy... Introverted... With A Dry Sense Of Humor... I Will Open Up To People 1-1... Not In Group Setting's.. I Live With #ChronicPain #CerebralPalsy #P .T.S.D#s .A.D#Depression #Anxiety ..#sexualassultsurvivor#formermilitarywife..#mother ....I'am Kind.. Supportive..And Have A Huge Personality.. That Come's With A Massive Pure.. I Work Hard For The Thing'sThat I Want Or Don't Have In My Life... I Deserve Alot " × 🖤 ❤❣❤🖤 Sincerly, ☆☆ ☆ SKADI KVITRAVN ☆☆☆

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I have ankylosing spondilitis and I’m scared to have kids because of it

Hey ! So I am a 19 year old girl with ankylosing spondilitis , so obviously , this question isn’t about right now , but it is definitely something I think about a lot and that I worry about if I get into a relationship .

Look . I want to have kids . More than anything I want to have children and to be a mother . But I’m scared because of AS . I’m scare to transmit it to them ( I don’t have the gene ) . I would feel so guilty if they ended up in the same pain I am in . I wouldn’t want to do that for my kids .

I’m scared of how the pregnancy will go , if I will be able to get them into the world safe without complications ( due to AS )

And I’m also scared about my own health . I’m scared that I will be ok when I get pregnant , but that the pregnancy and the childbirth would take a huge toll on my health .

Im scared that when they grow up , i won’t be able to do all the things I’d want to do with them , to take proper care of them etc …

Please if there are any moms here that also deal with AS , let me know your experience

#mom #AnkylosingSpondylitis #mother

4 comments
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Introduction

Hi I'm Tamar, 46 years old and mum of three kids. The days that I'm more depressed I find it difficult to take care of the kids as they are used to. Sometimes I'm less patient and that makes me feel guilty. They deserve the best version of me! How do you cope with this?
#Depression
#mother

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!!Rant!!

My mother never seems content with anything I do.

I try to do things I know she likes but her only response is "I don't even fucking care!"

I can never seem to do anything right and I hate it.#mother #tired #rant

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Pain and grief #Grief #Pain #Loss #mother

So my mum died. She abandoned me many years ago so I didn’t think I would be upset…I was wrong, like REALLY wrong! My god it hurts so bad I feel like I’m about to have a major breakdown. I found out in the worse way too. Someone posted two photos of her coffin on social media…that’s how I found out my mother was dead. I can’t believe that nobody told me. I’m so conflicted and I am hurting so much. I’m so confused and I’m so angry at myself for being upset. She didn’t love or care about me so I don’t even know why I’m so upset. Well I didn’t know but now I do….
It’s because unlike her, I have a ♡ , a fully functioning, loving, caring and compassionate ♡ . I’m better than she was but I will always still love her so very much

3 comments