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    Mother’s last wishes (warning can be triggering)

    So my mom passed last week. The week before she passed we were at the Drs office as they delivered the news that my mom had a few weeks left to live. My mom brought up my oldest brother and said I know that my brother didn’t rape you.
    This was not a time or place I wanted to talk about it.

    My mother and I never fully talked about what occurred with my brother when I was younger. My brother on more than one occasion was inappropriate with me as a child. I talked to him for most of my adulthood. A few years back I had flashbacks of the situations. Which I can see clearly as if they were yesterday. I decided it was too difficult for me to continue to act like nothing happened.

    My mother basically wanted me to forgive my brother. Without knowing fully what the situations were. So my Mother on her deathbed wanted me to forgive and makeup with my brother.

    I feel guilty as my mother has passed and I know that this would have made her so happy. Idk what to do. If I do it for my mom as it was her dying wish. Or stand strong and continue to feel guilty even thou I did nothing wrong.
    #Mothers #BereavedMothersDay #mother #ChildAbuse #RapeSurvivors #adolescent sexual molestation trauma #Survivor of rape and or molestation

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    Anxiety is making me feel so LOST, so now I'm ranting about it!

    I'm fairly new to this website, but I figured if anyone could help or relate to me, it would be this page! I'm a mom of three, who has probably suffered with mental illness my whole life (just unaware of it, but I've learned so much, and continue to learn as well) and my children are my life, and even though I've made mistakes in the past I've learned that I'm not the same person I once was, because I lacked the knowledge that I now have. My problem now is, that I just feel lost! I'm sure it's the anxiety that keeps me feeling unsure, and having no clue what to do with my life! The more I try to figure it all out, the more I just feel confused and stuck! More than anything in the world, I just want to have a career (that gives me purpose) that not only financially supports us, but makes my kids proud of me! I let them down so many times by not being able to stick with a job, and I just want to feel normal, confident, ambitious, and clear minded. Lord please just tell me the steps I need to take to be able to do all of this, I've pleaded so many times, and maybe one day I'll get my answer lol! The ironic part is that I'm always so good at helping others, but can't seem to ever be able to mentally do it for myself! #Healing #anxietysucks
    #mental illness #venting #mother #lost #Anxiety #Bedtime #alone #Thoughts #rant #

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    × " Who Is SKADI KVITRAVN.. " × #I 'amUnique#AndILiveWithDisabilite 's

    × " I'am The Kind Of Person Who Is Mysterious And Opinionated... Shy... Introverted... With A Dry Sense Of Humor... I Will Open Up To People 1-1... Not In Group Setting's.. I Live With #ChronicPain #CerebralPalsy #P .T.S.D#s .A.D#Depression #Anxiety ..#sexualassultsurvivor#formermilitarywife..#mother ....I'am Kind.. Supportive..And Have A Huge Personality.. That Come's With A Massive Pure.. I Work Hard For The Thing'sThat I Want Or Don't Have In My Life... I Deserve Alot " × 🖤 ❤❣❤🖤 Sincerly, ☆☆ ☆ SKADI KVITRAVN ☆☆☆

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    I have ankylosing spondilitis and I’m scared to have kids because of it

    Hey ! So I am a 19 year old girl with ankylosing spondilitis , so obviously , this question isn’t about right now , but it is definitely something I think about a lot and that I worry about if I get into a relationship .

    Look . I want to have kids . More than anything I want to have children and to be a mother . But I’m scared because of AS . I’m scare to transmit it to them ( I don’t have the gene ) . I would feel so guilty if they ended up in the same pain I am in . I wouldn’t want to do that for my kids .

    I’m scared of how the pregnancy will go , if I will be able to get them into the world safe without complications ( due to AS )

    And I’m also scared about my own health . I’m scared that I will be ok when I get pregnant , but that the pregnancy and the childbirth would take a huge toll on my health .

    Im scared that when they grow up , i won’t be able to do all the things I’d want to do with them , to take proper care of them etc …

    Please if there are any moms here that also deal with AS , let me know your experience

    #mom #AnkylosingSpondylitis #mother

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    Introduction

    Hi I'm Tamar, 46 years old and mum of three kids. The days that I'm more depressed I find it difficult to take care of the kids as they are used to. Sometimes I'm less patient and that makes me feel guilty. They deserve the best version of me! How do you cope with this?
    #Depression
    #mother

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    !!Rant!!

    My mother never seems content with anything I do.

    I try to do things I know she likes but her only response is "I don't even fucking care!"

    I can never seem to do anything right and I hate it.#mother #tired #rant

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    Pain and grief #Grief #Pain #Loss #mother

    So my mum died. She abandoned me many years ago so I didn’t think I would be upset…I was wrong, like REALLY wrong! My god it hurts so bad I feel like I’m about to have a major breakdown. I found out in the worse way too. Someone posted two photos of her coffin on social media…that’s how I found out my mother was dead. I can’t believe that nobody told me. I’m so conflicted and I am hurting so much. I’m so confused and I’m so angry at myself for being upset. She didn’t love or care about me so I don’t even know why I’m so upset. Well I didn’t know but now I do….
    It’s because unlike her, I have a ♡ , a fully functioning, loving, caring and compassionate ♡ . I’m better than she was but I will always still love her so very much

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    Controlling Mother

    I am now 41 years old. My mom almost always points out what I'm doing wrong or what I should or shouldn't do. I have a full time job. My house is paid for. I'm also a single mother to my 15 year old son. I used to had to depend on her for help with him until this past year. I have a boyfriend now. We have been dating a little over a year now. He has a 12 year old daughter. My mom thinks that he is pushing me to let him move in with me. Sure we have discussed it but it hasn't happened yet. I'm not letting anyone pressure me into doing something that I don't want to do. She questions everything that I do. She finds fault with almost anything I do. None of my choices are good enough for her. I love my mom, I really do. I just cannot handle her being so critical of my every decision and every move I make. I honestly don't know what to do because anytime I bring it up it starts an argument between us. She then starts with the poor pitiful me act and turns the whole thing against herself by saying she can't do anything right or make anyone happy. I'm at a loss! Any opinions, suggestions, and or ideas are much appreciated!#narcissisticmom #narcissist #narcissiticmother #mother #Controlling #NotGoodEnough

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    I have munchausen by proxy. #MunchausenSyndrome #help #SOS #Anxiety #MentalHealth #ChildAbuse

    My #mother has munchausen. My grandma has it too as well as my aunt who lives with her and i’m currently living in the same home as my grandmother and aunt (with her daughter as well who i also suspect has it so much worse). I am terrified they will kill me due to stress so I’m writing this just in case I don’t make it out, but I’m confident I will i’m just terrified. I’m 26 https://y.o and have been being abused my entire life. I have no friends, no one I can talk to. My mom turned my brothers against me and my entire family acts as if they hate me and I don’t have time to figure out who really does or who doesn’t. I got diagnosed with bipolar 2 as u can see per my last posts. It’s been a long time since I posted anything because I’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on with me. I also feel guilty, like I conspired with my mother to trick people, but truth be told I had no clue what I was doing. Certain things people have said to me have stuck with me over the years such as “u have no clue what ur doing do u?” and I absolutely did not. I don’t have much street smarts and I have a mother who was unfortunately raised by the streets and abused as a child as well. She also has a husband, R*y, who enables/brainwashed her entirely to the point where I don’t even think she’s realized how far gone she is. I’m terrified my family will harm me because I’m done playing their game. I’m going to move without letting anyone know and I’m going to go get real help. Im tired, drained, depleted and only by Gods grace am I still breathing and I know that. I walked around for the past 2 years thinking I was something I was not (bipolar), making a fool of myself. I genuinely believed there was a reason I had no one, but I had to be real with myself and say that I genuinely believe I exaggerated my symptoms and that was because I just wanted to KNOW something. I just knew there was an explanation for my behavior and I just KNEW my family wanted what was best for me... But as I started to actually listen to the universe (as cliche as that sounds) I realized there is no way I can be bipolar. I’ve been being played by everyone around me. I have never been a violent person in my life (correct me if i’m wrong pls, I don’t want to offend) nor did I ever have any real delusions like I was Queen or anything bc thank God my mother didn’t have to feign that illness for me. Thank God for my heart and self awareness; I truly thank God because without it I would be lost forever. My body knows something is wrong. I’m terrified of the slightest noise, laughs etc. and it’s all because of my family. When I am feeling really really low and I do mean suicidal, my family will “throw me a bone”. The other day my aunt said something about prejudice people after a man almost made me cry in a parking lot the other day and I instantly thought ? She was reffering to me being gay which I am not, which let me know she’s in on it too. I’m writing this because if ANYTHING happens to me, it was them