When does all the negativity became ABUSE?
Right now my spouse is under a LOT OF extra stress at work, stress he does not know how to manage and deal with socially. So his normal picking and criticizing on me has gone from a 3 to "11."
I'm from a hyper critical and neglectful home. I became a people pleaser and care taker as a result. Of course, constantly defending myself or explaining WHY I made a everyday little decisions is exhausting. He is more controlling than he will admit. With the autism he wants things to always go the way HE EXPECTS and life isn't like that.
When I am now standing up to him and learning assertiveness that is seen as DISRESPECT. Geez. He is so very sensitive and result offended. And yes, we are seeing a counselor, someone familiar with autism. But it is a S L o w process. I just want to get thru each day without him finding fault with me access complaining at me for everything ALL FUCKING DAY. Sorry. I just feel so overwhelmed exhausted derided and defeated. He says it's not his fault I feel these things cause it's my CHOICE how I feel. I believe it's my choice how I RESPOND. But he is not wanting to tale any ownership for his actions, bc to his way of thinking, he is just speaking logically.
Sigh...problem is all he ever notices and mentions is a constant litany of complaints. And it's not the complaints, so much as the expectation of an explanation so we can "discuss" how to keep that from happening again. Have u done this yet? WHY didn't u pick that up yet? Why did u do that? Why isn't dinner ready on time? Aauuuuggghhh! Ladies I feel so very depleted.