Sharing-2.4
Last Time Shared 2 Examples From Early Childhood.
Now, I'm Going To Share The Part After The Divorce.
*Might Be Triggering.*
I've Got A Partial Memory Where I Became Sick While With Him.
He Wouldn't Allow Me Medicine.
Instead He Laughed,Told Me I Wasn't That Sick, & That I Just Needed To 'Suck It Up'.
He Put My Us Kids In A Triangle With Our Mother.
He Made Me & My Oldest Younger Brother His Scapegoats & Physically Parentified Us.
He Allowed, & Encouraged, Our Youngest Brother To Abuse & Scapegoat Us As Well.
He Brought Us,Individually & In Groups, To Places Kids Should NEVER Go.
Made Us Watch Things Kids Should NEVER Watch.
&
There Were Other Abuses.
When I Hit Puberty(Age 9) His Abuse Got Worse.
One Example:
He'd Bring Me Out To Eat On My B-Day.
Most Times He'd Show Up Tipsy Or Fully Drunk; Other Times He'd Show Up Sober &, By The Time We Got There, He'd Be Tipsy(Because He'd Stop For Alcohol Along The Way-He'd Have Me Hide Myself So Noone Knew He Had A Kid In The Car.).
At The Restaurant He'd Play A Manipulative Game.
He'd Tell Me He Was The King & I Was The Princess.
He'd Order For Me-Wouldn't Let Me Pick Anything Out-& He'd Make Me Sip From His Alcohol.
Most B-Days It Was Enough Sips I'd Be Tipsy By The Time We Left.
He'd Always Sit Us In The Most Out Of The Way Corner Or The Darkest Corner.
When We Left He'd Continue Drinking.
I'd Always Be Grateful To Make It Home Alive.
He Ruined Every B-Day.//
He Started Threatening Me With Bodily Harm, Death, & Sometimes Both When I Was 11.
4 Months, Before I Turned 13, He Started Laying Hands On Me.
I Got Good At Excuses & Making Sure Nothing Got Exposed.
The Incident, At 13, Kept It From Escalating.//
From The Divorce Onwards His Drinking Kept Escalating.
I'd Sit On My Hands & Look Out At The Door Mirror( To Make Sure My Lips Didn't Move), & I'd Pray.
Pray That, If/When We Crashed, We'd Come Out With Minor Injuries.
This Morphed To Praying That, When We Crashed, We'd Die On Impact & Wouldn't Linger( Because To Linger Would Be To Suffer & I Didn't Want That For Myself & My Brothers).
This Led To The Incident When I Was 13.//
I No Longer Have Contact With This Man, Have Worked Through Things, & Am Now At Peace.
Blessed Be.