Recently my husband and I went to Washington DC to attend a celebration with my publisher on writing my first book. We took an extra few days to make this our summer holiday. Going 8+ hours to my destination is beyond difficult even with adjustable, heated seats. It’s too long in one seated position to do any driving. So, passenger I am. I am continually switching positions so I don’t stiffen up and end up in too much pain. My husband drives and makes stops along the way so I can walk and stretch. This is also the time when we do a lot of talking and sharing our feelings. As we joke, “take on the world together”. I can’t imagine not having his support.

But what happens when you don’t have the support of those closest to you? What happens when they question the reality of your illness? I can’t believe that thinking still exists and the pain it must cause. Talking about illness sounds horrible but it is necessary in order to have the emotional strength to work on you. Self-care cannot exist when your husband is saying nasty things about you not working, keeping the house clean and making meals. That’s not what you agreed to when you took your vows, ‘for better or worse’. If this isn’t the worse, I don’t want to know what is.

I’m fortunate, my husband did his absolute best to understand and support me when I needed to rest, not attend functions and just have quiet weekends. We’ve talked more in depth about this recently and after reading my book he said that even though he was positive and understanding he wasn’t doing what he really needed to do. He now says he needed to learn and understand this illness and what I was going through emotionally.

I believe this is at the core of improving your fibromyalgia symptoms so that you can enjoy life again. It’s not the only thing but it is vital to have your most important relationship understand the illness and what you are going through. It may be different than before but you can still find joy, reduced pain, better sleep and meaning in your life.

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#chronicpain #Fibromyalgia #Fatigue #supportivehusband #Relationships #InvisibleIllness #marriagehelp