Invisible Illness

I have found that this app is way too triggering. There is no way to avoid the posts that trigger. This app has also shown how very few medical professionals are actually professional- according to posts.
Why must I see every dang post there is? There's very little explaining that most hastags are general topics, not any specific group. But it makes no difference because I see folks posting to a group and folks with just topic hashtags and they all end up in mainfeed. SMH there's no way to avoid posts I don't need to see!! It seems it makes no difference if you post to a specific group, I'll still see it in my feed even though I have not joined that group. I'm glad folks feel they are getting something out of this but I feel it's doing more damage to others. But nothing will change, because being the only app like this some must be so proud that they can't see the flaws. It's messy. Being the first means there is a responsibility, particularly to the users of this app. I'm sure this falls on deaf ears. I can no longer keep being subjected to every trauma. Besides, the fact that there are people in this world that will go out of their way to harm you, this app makes it too easy for those kinds of people. Good luck folks, careful what you share.
#RA
#InvisibleIllness
#ChronicPain
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Cdiff
#RaynaudsDisease
#EmotionalNeglect
#Abuse

I really was excited about living on my own. But now the thought of a possible shunt malfunction doesn't wanna leave my mind. Idk how many anxiety attacks I've had because of this thought. I need to move back home tbh. At least I can say I tried

I am getting to the point where the longer I am on social media apps like instagram, facebook, and tik tok especially, the more unsafe I feel. Every single day I am harassed in the comments. I constantly see my fellow disabled peers, friends, and loved ones being harassed by people too. I have seen people post threats, I have seen subreddit accounts dedicated to accusing disabled people of faking their illnessess. I have seen people's mental health, physical health, and safety in danger because of this, whether a danger to themselves or others. Honestly, this is one of the only online spaces I feel safe. I should not have to hide my experience being disabled, I should be allowed to raise awareness and be honest, but I do not feel safe. I have noticed that the more followers I get (and I am not even like instagram or tik tok famous AT ALL), the more hate I get. I get hate by doctors, I have medical trauma, I get hate by strangers in public, I do not need to get to the point where I do not feel safe online either. Being disabled is so scary, I am scared of my own body and those around me. There is a reason why we are so lonely and isolated beyond just being housebound or sick, it is because so many of us do not feel safe. I have developed agoraphobia because of this. It's unacceptable. And i know i know people will say "do not let it get to you" but it wears on you!!! It builds up and it won't stop!! Don't let it get to me? Do not let people do this! Why is it our responsibility to not let this violence and harassment get to us when it should be their responsibility to unlearn their horrific and abhorrent amount of ableism? Why is the blame always twisted onto us? I am done. I am fed up. I cannot stop my disabilities, and the sicker I get, the more I cannot hide it and the less my illnesses become invisible. Invisible or not, it is unconscionable to be treated this way to the point where I literally fear leaving the house or going online. I've had it.#EhlersDanlos #POTS #ThoracicOutletSyndrome #Ableism #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #visibleillness #Neuropathy

I just wrote this verse today.
It was from a very vivid dream, I had many years ago, about a sentinel, on an ancient wall.
I might revise it again.?
So far, I’m satisfied with it..
(My daughter has HER2 Triple Positive Breast Cancer)#Poetry #MightyPoets #Therapy #ArtTherapy #InvisibleIllness #Cancer

~Warrior~
The warrior stood on the ancient wall brought down through time, and built by her ancestors…
A warrior, a sentinel, she surveyed all the village within the wall, and the countryside..
The wall had seen the days, eons before, a rampart, a fortress to behold..
In the distance, the enemy was advancing..
The warrior let out a clear yet piercing cry,
desperately trying to give word to the village below, that the enemy was approaching..
The warrior wondered for a brief instant about the villagers below, about her loved ones, about her home, about those not directly involved in the fray..
It seemed as though they could not hear her war cries, but they could…
Time seemed to stand still, yet it was fleeting, advancing ever forward. Between the cannon fire and the palleted silence, the cries were heard..
The warrior tried in vain to shore up the wall, as the battle was advancing, still ever progressing. Despite occasional cease fires, it was there..
There are no winners in war, and what remains?
The ravaged wall, the village, the countryside, all ruin, the reverberations of past memories…

Is there any purpose to my suffering?

If God is good all the time, why do I suffer so?

Have I angered God and deserve these afflictions?

This is not the sovereign God I have come to know during all my years of suffering.
The “good” of suffering is falling daily in reliance. I am in total submission in this pain-filled body. This is for my good I believe to teach myself or/or others something spiritual and in fulfillment of HIS purpose.
Of course suffering is suffering, and pain is pain,… it’s knawing, vulnerable, exhausting, and extremely difficult to live through.

Are all these years of my life in suffering condensed into a life lost to disability?

Am I lost in the wilderness?

When will I truly be found?

1 Peter 4: 12-13
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice, as you share in Christs’ sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when HIS glory is revealed!

By God’s Grace through faith-
Yes, Amazing Grace!
Although I am lost, I have alot yet to learn through suffering, but in tandem, I have truly been found!
Chronic Illness Activist/Advocate Sarah Jackson beautifully quotes,

”Sometimes physical suffering is the impetus to experiencing spiritual flourishing,
Sometimes you have to lose your best life in order to gain your best self!Chronic Illness can become a redemptive gift!”
There truly is purpose to suffering!
Jesus not only knows of our suffering,
but suffered for us on the cross, and suffers with us daily!

#ChronicPain #suffering #Christian #InvisibleIllness