Has anyone felt the triteness of people saying “it gets better!! Hold on”??
I know people mean well, I absolutely do......but why do we say this to each other?? While yes, of course we’ll experience some happy moments, good days (in my case weeks of bliss) the fact is we’ll always go back to the depths of darkness. That’s what this illness is, I have stated before that it’s a virus, it doesn’t leave—either dormant or active—but always present. I have had chronic suicidality since the age of 13! I’m 42 now! It’s taken so much energy, will, protocols, everything you can possibly imagine (from most conventional to most woo woo)....I’ll type up all of it on another post. The point is I manifested everything awesome in my life AND the virus (entity??) never leaves......my point is that you can have it all (love, kids, career, unlimited free time, purpose, looks, health, ease, joy, bliss, money) and still be trapped by the demon of depression (and any of its friends)......I no longer want the things I manifested....I want to live ALONE, in a tiny house in the woods, nothing to call my own, no people in my life, just be. Anyone else feel this way??? That genuinely having it all (and I don’t mean materialistic stuff but true freedom) is still not enough??? #Depression #SuicidalIdeation #freedom #Anxiety #Swaplives #Chronicsuicidality